Parents or TV?

[WNYresident]

Totalfan
One of the teenagers even had a motto for his ring:"While you sleep, we creep."

So who do you think influenced the kids more? Lack of involvement of the parents or the shows they watch on TV?

[granpabob]

sometimes its too much involvement. some kids have every moment of their life planned for them. school all day cheerleading baseball football dance class church youth groups gymnastics library and on and on. then all of a sudden they have unschedualed time and they dont know what to do. so the have three choices 1 hang out at the Mall. 2 walk around town aimlessly. 3 play video games, and all the while they do this they talk on the cell phone with someone else who hasn't been told what to do. wer were taught very early how to invent something to do how to seek out some fun not to rely on someone else to plan it for you

[atotaltotalfan2001]

So who do you think influenced the kids more? Lack of involvement of the parents or the shows they watch on TV?

Lack of parent involvement, IMO. Maybe it would have been better if those kids did stay home and watch bad TV. At least you'd know where they were. They had way too much time, and no supervision, near as I can tell.

That's the thing about teenagers. They can get into big trouble at the drop of a pin. Their judgement is still precarious -- half developed, half not. As a mom of teenagers, I'd say teens are way harder to keep in line than toddlers.

[buffy]

let's look to Bucky as our example...here's a kid who had a non-involved father and NO TV.

[communicator]

Lack of parent involvement, IMO. Maybe it would have been better if those kids did stay home and watch bad TV. At least you'd know where they were. They had way too much time, and no supervision, near as I can tell.

That's the thing about teenagers. They can get into big trouble at the drop of a pin. Their judgement is still precarious -- half developed, half not. As a mom of teenagers, I'd say teens are way harder to keep in line than toddlers.

A couple things come to mind. One, I think society has changed so much since the 70's. Mom use to stay home with the kids and learned right and wrong all day long. Now mom is working to help pay the bills and the kids are left alone to do what they want. Also, the kids seem to handed everything these days. Look at the high school parking lots. I went to Sweet Home and maybe half of the lot was full when I went there in the mid 70s(and most of the cars were clunkers). Now the lot is overflowing and the cars seem to be brand new. No way all of these kids are paying for these cars. Plus alot of these kids in the richer neighborhoods don't need to work. Allowances are higher then their possible wages. Then we have computers. EBAY has helped by giving these kids an avenue to sell whatever they want. Why not use it as a fence to sell stolen property. That's one of the main reasons I never bought anything from EBAY. You don't know who you're dealing with and what you're getting.

[WNYresident]

let's look to Bucky as our example...here's a kid who had a non-involved father and NO TV.

We can't look at Ralph Phillips because it's the extreme. We don't have a Ralph Phillips happening every day.

We need to analyse the average type kids because that's what we mostly have. The average kid who turns somewhat irresponsible.

[Shasta13]

A couple things come to mind. One, I think society has changed so much since the 70's. Mom use to stay home with the kids and learned right and wrong all day long. Now mom is working to help pay the bills and the kids are left alone to do what they want. Also, the kids seem to handed everything these days. Look at the high school parking lots. I went to Sweet Home and maybe half of the lot was full when I went there in the mid 70s(and most of the cars were clunkers). Now the lot is overflowing and the cars seem to be brand new. No way all of these kids are paying for these cars. Plus alot of these kids in the richer neighborhoods don't need to work. Allowances are higher then their possible wages. Then we have computers. EBAY has helped by giving these kids an avenue to sell whatever they want. Why not use it as a fence to sell stolen property. That's one of the main reasons I never bought anything from EBAY. You don't know who you're dealing with and what you're getting.

My mom and dad worked when I was growing up. And I did not grow up to be public enemy #1. My grandma watched us after school, but basically that was more to be sure we did not burn the house down making grilled cheese, than what we were doing outside with our friends. We never got into any trouble. Well, the odd neighborhood fistfight that was over and done and forgotten before the blood dried. Mostly because my brothers and I were terrified that mom would find out and snatch us bald headed. The parents all banded together, and if there was an issue, it got solved, and the "beatings" duly handed out. I think part of the problem is that many parents today are worried about being liked, about being their kids' friend. They are not, they are the parent. We had rules. And breaking the rules had consequences. My parents were never the "Oh, my kids would never do that", type. They were always quite willing to believe we WERE that type and ready to hand out punishment if it was proven that we actually did whatever it was. Kids are not worried about their parents anymore. They do what they want because there are no consequences. Obviously, I do not mean ALL kids, there are many good kids out there. TV plays a part in it, I am sure, but I think it all starts with the parents.

[Grim]

Parents

Even more so, parents who blame tv and video games for there childrens problems...

[WNYresident]

I can see some video games completely making kids stupid.. They get addicted to them.
Instead of being outside in the woods, fishing, camping, basic stuff...they are hooked to thier game screens.

[WNYresident]

how ironic for me to say that. I'm always in front of a screen.

[JTFry]

Times have changed...there have been many studies regarding teenagers and influence. In the 1950's for example, the MAIN influences for children were: Parents, church, peers, and Media.

TODAY...it is Media, Peers, parents and church

Not only is media number one but it is SO different now. Remember George Carlin and the 7 dirty words you couldn't say on television. I think that list has maybe 2 on it now! Also, the kids have TV and Radio, but they also have internet and video games. And look at the games...and the song lyrics....Our kids are slowly being brainwashed and no one seems to care or notice. It is "normal" to see women as sex objects only (mtv/videos/etc.) and treat them like crap. And girls believe that now too. Also, maybe we snuck a peek at our dad's playboy mag. under the mattress..but it is ALL around them...internet access is so easy.... You may think I am blaming ONLY the media...

Far from it. It is the PARENT's RESPONSIBILITY to teach right from wrong. to say NO. (They have forgotten how). NO, I don't care if all your friends have grand theft auto, you can't. (I know FOUR YEAR OLDS who have this game!) NO, you can't have a new Escalade. Junior, it is wrong to steal. Parents don't know how to be parents, they try to be their "friend" instead. They do not teach their kids responsibility or hold them accountable. THAT is the problem!

[Downstate Buffaloian]

sometimes its too much involvement. some kids have every moment of their life planned for them. school all day cheerleading baseball football dance class church youth groups gymnastics library and on and on. then all of a sudden they have unschedualed time and they dont know what to do. so the have three choices 1 hang out at the Mall. 2 walk around town aimlessly. 3 play video games, and all the while they do this they talk on the cell phone with someone else who hasn't been told what to do. wer were taught very early how to invent something to do how to seek out some fun not to rely on someone else to plan it for you

I see this alot where I live. I think its endemic to wealthier neighborhoods Many kids here have "helicopter parents" that hover everything they do and dictate what sports they should play, what after school activities they should be involved in and what colleges they apply to. God forbid they don't get into an Ivy League School and have to go to a second tier school like UB or SUNY Stony Brook! an embarassment to the family. These kids grow up spoiled and completely unable or unwilling to take care of themselves. It's really sad If they didn't have daddy's money I don't think they would be able to survive.

On the other hand you have parents in the Ghetto who don't know where their kid is half the time and frankly don't care. The kids from these types of families are more visible because they are the gang members and criminals that make the streets unsafe for the rest of us.

The first group results in old money dying out because rich kids often can't make the personal sacrifices necessary to raise children. They are so coddled in youth that they are incapable of possibly raising children of their own. I see so many wealthy 35 year olds here (in the NYC area) that are still stuck in adolesence living the swinging singles life. It guess it doesn't bother them that they will be the end of the family line, they're too busy being Peter Pan to think that they will grow old someday with no living relatives!

As for my parenting style, I believe that its really important to give your kid responsiblities and encourage them to set goals. Your job as a parent is to guide them, not to totally control them. You teach them the right things so that they learn to make the right decisions on their own, not you make the decision for them. Kids also need to experience failure. You as a parent should offer them support when they fail but they need to fail once in awhile to help learn from the lessons of defeat.

A parent's goal should be to raise someone who will become a thinking, independent and resourceful human being, who has respect for others and confidence in themselves.

[Downstate Buffaloian]

[QUOTE=Downstate Buffaloian]
You teach them the right things so that they learn to make the right decisions on their own, not you make the decision for them. [QUOTE]

Just to avoid a misunderstanding on this statement:

Sometimes I admit you have to step in if they are about to make a very stupid decision. If you're kid is in danger your judgement should always supercede theirs.

What I meant is that parents should let the child decide in regard to what their interests should be, what extracurricular activities they want to be involved in or what college they should attend. Believe me some parents here on Long Island are insane about controling every aspect of their kids life.

Kids should also learn responsibility by doing laundry, washing clothes cleaning the house, cooking, etc. Believe me there are many 20 somethings out there that cannot do any of the above!

[granpabob]

[QUOTE=Downstate Buffaloian]

On the other hand you have parents in the Ghetto who don't know where their kid is half the time and frankly don't care. The kids from these types of families are more visible because they are the gang members and criminals that make the streets unsafe for the rest of us.
whoa check out the real crime reports these kids dont get bailed out right away or have their rich dads freinds keep it out of the news.I have been arround family court many times. the city kids have more friends and family with them then the suburban kids do. sure we see the ghetto kids more but only because in the burbs there is more room for the kids to hang out where they cant be seen. both do the same things In OP they hang out under the 20A bridge or in the woods by green lake and many more places but they are still doing drugs Alcohol and each other. the wealthy burbs can also pay the stop child birth. it doesnt mean the kids are not haveing sex
I have met many of my kids peers who can stay out way after midnight, in fact when I go looking for my grandson I often find 10 & 12 year olds walking arround town at one in the mourning their parents also dont care, the Ghetto can be anywhere so dont lable the inner city as having all bad parents when the burbs are just as bad or worse

[Downstate Buffaloian]

[QUOTE=granpabob]

On the other hand you have parents in the Ghetto who don't know where their kid is half the time and frankly don't care. The kids from these types of families are more visible because they are the gang members and criminals that make the streets unsafe for the rest of us.
whoa check out the real crime reports these kids dont get bailed out right away or have their rich dads freinds keep it out of the news.I have been arround family court many times. the city kids have more friends and family with them then the suburban kids do. sure we see the ghetto kids more but only because in the burbs there is more room for the kids to hang out where they cant be seen. both do the same things In OP they hang out under the 20A bridge or in the woods by green lake and many more places but they are still doing drugs Alcohol and each other. the wealthy burbs can also pay the stop child birth. it doesnt mean the kids are not haveing sex
I have met many of my kids peers who can stay out way after midnight, in fact when I go looking for my grandson I often find 10 & 12 year olds walking arround town at one in the mourning their parents also dont care, the Ghetto can be anywhere so dont lable the inner city as having all bad parents when the burbs are just as bad or worse

I guess you misunderstood me. I know there is alot of troubled kids in the burbs that get bailed out by their rich parents. It's just that for the most part the burbs don't have the serious gang violence found in the city. I know that kids do bad things in the burbs, too but their actions are less likely

I look at the main problem at least where I live(Long Island) is young adults that are failing to launch into adulthood. They are in their 30's and still living at home like they did when they were 16. I'm in my early 30's and I find these people pathetic.

So, I guess I was referring to young adults not kids. Disregard my post, not applicable to the topic!