No hope for Shelly after damning letter revealed in court

Hey, sometimes life is tough. But your government is here to help!

Let’s say you were busted while doing 120 mph on the Long Island Expressway with four underage Panamanian hookers and a Coleman cooler full of hashish.

Wouldn’t it be great if the cop who pulled you over wanted to make a deal?

Say, he’ll let you get off with confessing to doing 75 mph and agree that the Panamanian hookers were nuns on their way to a soup kitchen, while the Coleman cooler was full of Mountain Dew.

This will leave a mark.