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Thread: Its sunday soooooo Gender Joke Time

  1. #1
    Member steven's Avatar
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    Wink Its sunday soooooo Gender Joke Time

    For The Men
    - A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
    - To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
    - Any married man should forget his mistakes-there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
    - A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    For The Women
    - How are men and parking spots alike?
    The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.
    - How do men exercise at the beach?
    By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
    - What is the difference between men and government bonds?
    Bonds mature!

    And Finnaly, For Biker
    Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first.
    People who wonder if the glass is half empty or full miss the point. The glass is refillable.

  2. #2
    Member citymouse's Avatar
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    A wife say's to her husband "Honey, I would like money for breast implants". " Why do you need breast implants?" The husband asks.
    "Because I feel they are inadequate and I want the biggest ones I can get." she answers.
    "Forget it, just rub toilet paper between them everyday" replies the husband.
    "What good would that do?" she says.
    His answer... "It worked on your ass."
    "If you want to know what God thinks of money just look at the people he gave it to."

    By the way, what happened to biker? I miss the old coot.

  3. #3
    Tony Fracasso - Admin
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    A wife say's to her husband "Honey, I would like money for breast implants".
    Apparently the husband doesn't have a government job. I thought we the tax payer supplied boob jobs to police officers and such

  4. #4
    Member Nicolas II's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by citymouse
    A wife say's to her husband "Honey, I would like money for breast implants". " Why do you need breast implants?" The husband asks.
    "Because I feel they are inadequate and I want the biggest ones I can get." she answers.
    "Forget it, just rub toilet paper between them everyday" replies the husband.
    "What good would that do?" she says.
    His answer... "It worked on your ass."

    Good one
    "The horror........The horror..........."

  5. #5
    Member steven's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WNYresident
    Apparently the husband doesn't have a government job. I thought we the tax payer supplied boob jobs to police officers and such
    HEY, I call shananagins on you Rez!
    no sly injecting of politics in my gender jokes
    People who wonder if the glass is half empty or full miss the point. The glass is refillable.

  6. #6
    Member citymouse's Avatar
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    While there is humor in sarcasm I think it was uncalled for here. Particularly because it perpetuautes a myth. I work for local goverment and never have had cosmetic enhancment as a benefit. Few of us do.
    Further, the toilet paper theory is proven. All you have to do is drive by Wal mart or Target and you will see what I mean. Or better yet dairy queen.
    "If you want to know what God thinks of money just look at the people he gave it to."

    By the way, what happened to biker? I miss the old coot.

  7. #7
    Tony Fracasso - Admin
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    Quote Originally Posted by citymouse
    While there is humor in sarcasm I think it was uncalled for here. Particularly because it perpetuautes a myth. I work for local goverment and never have had cosmetic enhancment as a benefit. Few of us do.
    Further, the toilet paper theory is proven. All you have to do is drive by Wal mart or Target and you will see what I mean. Or better yet dairy queen.
    I have heard you say that before and believe you don't need your boobs enhanced. They are fine as they are.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by citymouse
    ...Few of us do.
    I have to agree with Res. on this. You can't call it a myth when it's true. Your very reply acknowledges that SOME do use this benefit. I feel that ONE person getting cosmetic surgery on the taxpayer's dime is too many... if you want implants/etc, pay for them out of your own pocket like those in the private sector have to.


    You may now return to the regularly scheduled jokes

  9. #9
    Member steven's Avatar
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    shannanagins! - shannanagins! - shannanagins!-
    People who wonder if the glass is half empty or full miss the point. The glass is refillable.

  10. #10
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    D'oh

    Sorry, you're right. Shenanigans

    (Wow, I can't spell shannagins and it's on the screen in front of me! HA! )

  11. #11
    Member Nicolas II's Avatar
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    Somehow I don't think I'm gonna tell my astronaut joke.............
    "The horror........The horror..........."

  12. #12
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    The top six reasons computers must be female:
    6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.
    5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
    4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
    3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
    2. The message "Bad Command or File Name" is about as informative as
    "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".
    1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.

  13. #13
    Member DR_GONZO's Avatar
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    Italian All Weather Tires For Sale

    Dago In Snow
    Dago In Mud
    Dago In Water
    And When Dago Flat
    Dago Wop Wop Wop Wop

  14. #14
    Member Nicolas II's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DR_GONZO
    Italian All Weather Tires For Sale

    Dago In Snow
    Dago In Mud
    Dago In Water
    And When Dago Flat
    Dago Wop Wop Wop Wop
    haven't heard that one since the 60's......
    "The horror........The horror..........."

  15. #15
    Member DR_GONZO's Avatar
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    I heard that one for the first time on Sat. Not dirty and not too nasty.

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