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Thread: children born out of wedlock

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    Member CAugust's Avatar
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    children born out of wedlock

    do you think there is still a stigma to children born out of wedlock, why or why not? A friend and myself got into a discussion this evening about this - what are your thoughts and why?
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    Whenever I hear of a child being born out of wedlock, I commend the mother/father for doing the right thing. I am more inclined to believe that people would be happy to hear that the parents are keeping the child and not aborting.

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    If anything, kids that are born IN wedlock are probably considered the "oddballs" these days. Especially if their parents stay together for any length of time.

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    Member CAugust's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Surfing USA View Post
    If anything, kids that are born IN wedlock are probably considered the "oddballs" these days. Especially if their parents stay together for any length of time.

    really? how odd in my circle of friends.... really
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    Member CAugust's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anotherview View Post
    Whenever I hear of a child being born out of wedlock, I commend the mother/father for doing the right thing. I am more inclined to believe that people would be happy to hear that the parents are keeping the child and not aborting.

    oh I totally agree - although I do think in some cases adoption is an option as well....................it would totally depend on each situation obviously
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    Quote Originally Posted by CAugust View Post
    oh I totally agree - although I do think in some cases adoption is an option as well....................it would totally depend on each situation obviously
    If there were less abortions or more adoptions, many, many couples on the long waiting list to adopt, would be extremely happy.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CAugust View Post
    do you think there is still a stigma to children born out of wedlock, why or why not? A friend and myself got into a discussion this evening about this - what are your thoughts and why?
    I forget the high % of babies born this way (highest % of ALL time) , no father around , it's a set-back for the child right from the get go.......sometimes the mother leaves the child with the grand parents too or with the father , but most of the time it's the dad who takes off....Again , they at least have a chance , sometimes they become stronger for it , sometimes not , I personally think it's better with 2 parents , & even being a Conservative Christian , I would rather the child be brought up with two loving adults , even of the same gender , the one trying to do it alone...........
    And He said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature. Mark 16:15
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    I just met someone who was artifically inseminated. She's almost 40, didn't find the right one and felt that this is something she wanted to do.

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    I don't think there is such a stigma anymore in most circles.

    I think the higher the socio-economic status, the more of a stigma that remains. Maybe stigma is not the right word. I think the higher one's socio economic status is, the more likely someone might raise some eyebrows at a pregnancy out of wedlock. But even then, it's not nearly as big of a deal as it used to be.
    1 Corinthians 13:1 "If I speak in the languages of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal."

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    On birth certificates there was a box designated "bastard" I pointed out to my wife that on mine the box was not checked, she disagreed with it.
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    Having a son born out of wedlock, I haven't found any type of scorn or derision aimed at him for that reason.

    The unfortunately byproduct of being born out of wedlock is the often contentious relationship between the parents. THAT is where the child starts to have internal problems, which spills out into their everyday lives and can cause some people to view them differently. It almost seems like sometimes we might be able to attribute some poor attitudes/behaviors to the fallout of the marital status of his parents, but don't directly denigrate anyone based solely upon that marital status (or lack thereof). Am I making sense yet?
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    I'm a child born out of wedlock. I felt no stigma at all growing up. Nothing. I also have friends who have had children without the father. I can't understand why there would be any kind of stigma.
    If you don't like gay marriage blame straight people. They're the ones who keep having gay babies.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Surfing USA View Post
    If anything, kids that are born IN wedlock are probably considered the "oddballs" these days. Especially if their parents stay together for any length of time.
    Yeah, I had the principal of the high school tell my daughter essentially that. He asked her if she realized how rare that is and how fortunate she was.
    Originally Posted by CAugust
    do you think there is still a stigma to children born out of wedlock, why or why not? A friend and myself got into a discussion this evening about this - what are your thoughts and why?
    The stigma for a lot of things considered immoral is no longer there. It's how our society is. We're frogs in a cold pot on the fire.
    First Amendment rights are like muscles, if you don't exercise them they will atrophy.

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    Member mikenold's Avatar
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    The number of babies born out of wedlock has been rising since the 50's.

    1950-1954
    14 percent

    1965-69
    30.4 percent

    http://books.nap.edu/openbook.php?record_id=944&page=98

    2005
    40 percent

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,509672,00.html

    As society gets more promiscuous and there is no moral high ground the result is not surprising. The world has pushed for men to be marginalized in the home. Women are told by organizations like NOW and the NCWO that a man is not necessary to raise a family. TV shows portray men as bumbling idiots. It is no wonder that women are getting inseminated artificially and some are just having a baby all for themselves. There is no stigma associated with having a baby out of wedlock. Children are taught about sex in grammar school and we are inundated with commercials that shamelessly sell products like Viagra, Cialis, women feminine hygiene products and condoms. It is no wonder that our children are no longer waiting to get married before having children of their own. I fear this is only going to get worse as we are taking God out of everything and are morals are sure to falter even farther. I will only mention the documented problems associated with raising a child in a one parent home. We are only just stating to realize the effects of these social policies foisted on us by the likes of American philosopher, psychologist, and educational reformer John Dewey. It really is a shame on us all.
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikenold View Post
    The world has pushed for men to be marginalized in the home.
    Men who are apt to feel marginalized, will feel marginalized. Any man who feels that society is beating him down, for being a man, isn't much of man, anyway.

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