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Thread: The NEW Constitution

  1. #1
    Member HipKat's Avatar
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    The NEW Constitution

    This is from another message board I go to. I thought it was good for a chuckle and maybe a dose of some common sense....


    "We The People Of The United States"

    The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA. This guy should run for President one day...

    " We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other bed-wetters.

    We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights as such:

    ARTICLE I : You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

    ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

    ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

    ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

    ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

    ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

    ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

    ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

    ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

    ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from!

    (lastly....)

    ARTICLE XI : You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!!

    If you agree, share this with a friend. No, you don't have to, and nothing tragic will befall you if you don't. I just think it's about time common sense is allowed to flourish.
    Let me articulate this for you:
    "I'm not locked in here with them. They're locked in here with me!!"
    HipKat's Blog

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    Nice!

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    Member run4it's Avatar
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    typical red-necked, pig-headed schlock.

    Too much cousin-kissin down there in Georgia.
    But your being a dick
    ~Wnyresident

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    Member HipKat's Avatar
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    Some of them Georgia girls are hot, so it's probably tough not too...!!!
    Let me articulate this for you:
    "I'm not locked in here with them. They're locked in here with me!!"
    HipKat's Blog

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    Member raoul duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HipKat
    ARTICLE XI : You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God.
    No it wasn't. The rest of that is so god-damned stupid and so obviously aimed at the poor and disadvantaged it could be considered latently racist, I'm not even going to bother with it. A "straw-man" is for retards who have nothing substantial or intelligent to say.
    One beautiful thing about having a government of the corporations, by the corporations, and for the corporations is that every disaster is measured in terms of economic loss. It's sort of like getting your arm sheared off in a car accident and thinking, "Damn, now it'll take longer to fold the laundry" as blood spurts from your arteries. - The Rude Pundit

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    Quote Originally Posted by raoul duke
    No it wasn't. The rest of that is so god-damned stupid and so obviously aimed at the poor and disadvantaged it could be considered latently racist, I'm not even going to bother with it. A "straw-man" is for retards who have nothing substantial or intelligent to say.
    Don't you have some sort of a sense of humor? Lighten up. Get over yourself with your self righteous indignation. I can't believe that you would even use the word retard and say your against racism. So, now tell me, it's you who gets to choose which sector of society gets picked on?
    First Amendment rights are like muscles, if you don't exercise them they will atrophy.

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    raoul duke, the intelligent retard with nothing substantial to say

    The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America
    When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them,

    We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights.....

    We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions,

    with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

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    Member bflonum1fan's Avatar
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    run4it says
    typical red-necked, pig-headed schlock
    I says : run4it, go back to the Randi Rhodes thread with the rest of your limp dick lib friends !
    It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required. (Sir Winston Churchill)

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    Quote Originally Posted by raoul duke
    No it wasn't. The rest of that is so god-damned stupid and so obviously aimed at the poor and disadvantaged it could be considered latently racist, I'm not even going to bother with it. A "straw-man" is for retards who have nothing substantial or intelligent to say.

    Poor and disadvantaged? 7 of 11 have nothing to do with either.

    What's with the knee jerk reactions? Does it hurt your sensibilities to acknowledge that much of the joke was true?

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    Member HipKat's Avatar
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    You guys DO realize this was supposed to be funny, right?
    Let me articulate this for you:
    "I'm not locked in here with them. They're locked in here with me!!"
    HipKat's Blog

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    Well Hip, it's wasn't written so much as to be a joke.

    It actually was written by:

    Senate candidate Lewis Napper is "Bill of No Rights"
    One day in 1993, after hearing a Hillary Clinton speech on the radio, Napper had had enough.
    http://web.archive.org/web/200308012...paign2000.html
    Last edited by LHardy; February 24th, 2008 at 12:48 AM.

  12. #12
    Member HipKat's Avatar
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    Which, to me, makes it even funnier....
    Let me articulate this for you:
    "I'm not locked in here with them. They're locked in here with me!!"
    HipKat's Blog

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    Member concernedwnyer's Avatar
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    Oh hell lets all just watch Jericho!

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    Member raoul duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LHardy
    The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America
    When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them,

    We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights.....

    We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions,

    with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
    Could you please show me where the Declaration of Independence has any effect of law? It doesn't. It is nothing more than a declaration of intent. Albeit and important one, but still, nothing less and nothing more than a declaration.

    If you look at the Constitution of the United States of America (the legally enforceable document that is the foundation of this country), you'll notice the only reference to a God is contained at the very end: "in the year of Our Lord." Nowhere else in the document is there a mention of a Higher power or wisdom. Better yet, if you read the writings of the people who crafted the Constitution, you'll find that many of them, including the person who is considered the Father of the Constitution (James Madison), were deist and argued fervently against a government based or extracted from religious law or dogmas. In other words to say the Constitution was based on any prevailing religious belief is incorrect. It was written with the conscious intent to be a secular document.
    One beautiful thing about having a government of the corporations, by the corporations, and for the corporations is that every disaster is measured in terms of economic loss. It's sort of like getting your arm sheared off in a car accident and thinking, "Damn, now it'll take longer to fold the laundry" as blood spurts from your arteries. - The Rude Pundit

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    Member raoul duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mesue
    Don't you have some sort of a sense of humor? Lighten up. Get over yourself with your self righteous indignation. I can't believe that you would even use the word retard and say your against racism. So, now tell me, it's you who gets to choose which sector of society gets picked on?
    I apologize if people took offense to the "retard" comment. However there is nothing funny about that. It's an ignorant statement of people who feel "they got theirs" that basically says screw everyone else. It's in line with a whole slew of stupid emails, letters and articles written by people that somehow feel empowered because they are enough generations removed from their ancestors (most of whom were poor, neglected and discriminated against) to not feel compelled to empathize with the people that crap is aimed at.

    The religious BS is even more hypocritical. I have a hard time believing the person or philosophy that is Jesus Christ would even come close to endorsing that nationalist, anti-immigrant, anti-poor and downright ignorant "New Constitution." I may be an atheist, but I haven't forgotten the lessons I learned the first 18 years of my Catholic life and none of them are embodied by that crap.
    One beautiful thing about having a government of the corporations, by the corporations, and for the corporations is that every disaster is measured in terms of economic loss. It's sort of like getting your arm sheared off in a car accident and thinking, "Damn, now it'll take longer to fold the laundry" as blood spurts from your arteries. - The Rude Pundit

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