Reply With Quoteummm, why don't you just put a sign up that says "NO SOLICITORS"?!?
Bible thumpers should be prohibited from soliciting door-to-door.
It’s troubling enough to be awakened from deep REM sleep by ringing of the doorbell, followed by rapping on the door. It’s worse when you stumble out of bed, open the door in a haze and are confronted by two lobotomized drones dressed to the nines in their best Sunday-go-tomeetin clothes, firing off questions about your religious preferences.
- You have right to worship God, Budda, Krom, Jehovah, Tom Cruise, Beazlebub, or any apparition thereof which may have appeared in your oatmeal, toiletbowl or Genny Cream. You also have a right to practice that religion which may involve Nike sneakers, Kool-Aid and hitching a ride on a comet.
- You do not have a right to interrupt my sleep with your bible thumping cult propaganda.
For a shift worker, a 2:00P.M. knock on the door equates to 4:00A.M. for the rest of the population. Maybe I'll look you up, put on my goalie mask, grab my chainsaw, and come to your house at 4:00A.M. to tell you about MY religion.
Last edited by ChaneysGotaGun; June 24th, 2007 at 01:57 PM.
ummm, why don't you just put a sign up that says "NO SOLICITORS"?!?
Citizens have a First Amendment right to receive information and ideas and decide for themselves what messages they wish to receive. And normal "no trespassing" and/or "no solicitation" laws can protect your concerns.
So slap-up a sign or two and....
Originally Posted by buffy
Better yet, I drew a chalk outline of a body in the driveway, sprinkled it with .40 Cal. shells, and tossed a copy of "the watchtower" beside it.
Last edited by ChaneysGotaGun; June 24th, 2007 at 04:06 PM.
Your a very angry guy.
People who wonder if the glass is half empty or full miss the point. The glass is refillable.
That's one way to keep them out! Thanks for the tip, can I use it?
...but that alone does not give someone the right to force their misguided beliefs upon me, anger management maybe, religion, no. Now someone pass the Kool Aid and a copy of Dianetics.
I cant think of a person that needs jesus more than you chaney
this is a long shot but did you ever think of saying no thank you
or a no solicitation sign
or simply put up a gate on the front porch. It always discourages people from the front door and doorbell if they cant reach it or if its disconnected plus it encourages good manners for people you know to call before they come over.
Hey I can understand it, especially if someone works third shift and have to sleep during the day....but think smart about how to address it.
I like Chaneys way better, I'm doin' it!
God forbid the Girl Scouts show up at your door selling cookies...
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HOW TO GET RID OF JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES
1. Answer the door naked and carrying weaponry. (immediate results)
2. Pretend to be the slowest talking person in the world and see how long their spirit of charity lasts.
3. Answer every one of their questions with "What do you mean by that?" This might take a while, but you and your loved ones can have fun placing bets on how long it takes for them to get flustered and leave.
4. Ask them to reconcile Revelation 1 and 22 for the "Alpha & Omega's" identity (Jesus or God), repeat constantly. You may have to resort to another method to actually get rid of them, but this will definitely make them sweat.
5. Excuse yourself from your sitting room (or wherever) ...and don't come back.
6. Make a series of increasingly reprehensible fake phone calls. (booky, order for pornography, drug deal, obscene call, and if they are STILL there, a tearfull confession to the police for the murder of the last Witnesses who visited you.)
7. Pick an oft-repeated word in their lexicon (God, Jesus, heaven, it, the etc.) and giggle whenever they utter it. If they ask you what's going on, say "nothing, why?" in very even tones, and giggle again.
8. Same as #7, except say "beep" instead of giggling.
9. (males only) Feign an intense interest in their speil. Part way through, begin putting on make-up, hosery, a dress, the whole works. (make encouraging noises [uh huh, I see...] throughout and if they ask you what you're doing, pull a #7) If they're still there when you are done, Ask them if they would please kindly leave as you have a hot date in ten minutes.
10. Look smug and tell them that your God can beat up their God.
The other day when my doorbell rang at 10:30 am on the first day of summer vacation with the kids, I opened the door to some churchies. First I got a raised eyebrow and "Did we wake you?" Nicely I said "No, I just wasn't expecting anyone." I got a "tsk" in reply. Then I got a quiz. I started closing the door as I said "No thanks, we're not interested" and then her voice raised up higher when she asked "Aren't you concerned about your future??!!" "No," I replied. "Especially since you won't be in it."
So it's ok to interrupt me, give me attitude that I'm still not dressed, and then be snitty when I politely tell you to beat it.
Good one Chaney, I may use that.
Honestly though.. I can think of few things as offensive as these fruits walking around my neighborhood trying to convert people... They give me the creeps, kinda like children of the corn.. Riding a bike with a suit and a backpack is freaky.
I have been nice to a couple of these mindless drones that have stopped at my house 2x.. they are due to come next week or so... been trying to come up with something funny to shoo them away. Maybe covering my self with blood and saying "OH, your just in time for the Sacrifice".
BTW, they ignore the sign that says private drive.
The whole Missionaries thing is just so wrong.
"When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross." - Sinclair Lewis (1935)
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