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Great News: There’s a Christian Search Engine for People Scared of Obama, Sex and Lady Gaga

The Internet is a terrifying place filled with information, some of it incompatible with the Bible. Fortunately, SeekFind.org, a conservative Christian search engine, promises to protect right-wing believers from knowledge that clashes with their bizarre, anachronistic worldviews.

The site, highlighted in an NPR story about the growth of religious online portals, offers users only “God-honoring, Biblically-based, and theologically-sound Christian information in a highly accurate and well-organized format,” according to their mission statement. They are way more God-honoring than all those other Christian search engines, they say, “While these are good websites with some great tools – they are not as discerning as they should be in regards to what kind of content they allow in their listings.” Meanwhile, Google, et al, brings up “results from pages attacking the Christian faith and/or presenting unbiblical views. For example, a search for “Jesus Christ” at Google will result in page 1 listings from the Mormon church, a genealogical service, and a secular history of views about Jesus.”

Of course I looked up stuff in the search engine. Though I only got a few terms in before it crashed, I still managed to learn (unlearn?) a lot: that Obama is the anti-Christ (duh); Nancy Pelosi is a homosexual and possibly a pedophile(?); premarital sex is wrong (duh); Lady Gaga doesn’t exist (?) and even Glenn Beck is up to no good — a search for Beck brought up paranoid sites about his Mormonism. The Adam Sandler vehicle, “Don’t Mess With Zohan”, is a very good guide to Mideast issues, coming in at 3 in a search for “Israeli-Palestinian conflict.”