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Thread: Daughter defends nursing home's care of woman who died after not eating

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    Daughter defends nursing home's care of woman who died after not eating

    https://buffalonews.com/2020/05/15/d...er-not-eating/

    I was extremely pleased the Buffalo News published this second report after being misled by the first report by a daughter who should have known better, but instead erroneously charged the nursing facility with starving her mother to death.

    I was in the same situation with a 99- year-old mother whose wishes I followed as her proxy; and before dementia set in.

    Nursing facilities are taking enough hits during the Covid-19 spread. This claim is unwarranted and pretty upsetting to me and nursing home caretakers as well.

    Lancaster’s Harris Hill facility is experiencing a high death rate, I never visited that facility. I am well acquainted with the Elderwood at Lancaster facility – volunteering there for 9 years. I visited clients numerous times at the Lancaster Greenfields facility and can attest that Lancaster is lucky to have two reputable facilities in the heart of Lancaster.

    It bothers me till this day how many families make extraordinary, selfish poor decisions to keep a loved one alive who are in their final stages of life - exhibiting no mental cognizance or quality of life.

    The report very well expresses what I likewise experienced.

    The East Aurora nursing home where a 92-year-old dementia patient died in March acted properly in her mother's dying days, said a second relative who served as the woman's health care proxy.

    “Dori’s point is that they starved her, and I do not agree. I know they offered her food. I believe they encouraged her to eat. But I asked them not to force feed her,” Bond said.

    Czora, a nurse who has worked in long-term care for 29 years, said the natural progression of a patient experiencing advanced dementia is a refusal to eat.

    “Dementia and Alzheimer’s is a progressive disease that at the end stage results in a lack of appetite. It is universally accepted as understood, and not starvation. The body doesn’t feel hunger.

    “Patients that are starting to move toward this are repulsed by food. Oftentimes families feel guilt over this, but it is important to note that it is not a sign of depression or suicide, it is a part of the terminal progression of the disease,” Czora said.

    Bond told The News her mother did not die because she stopped eating, but rather she stopped eating because she was dying.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lee Chowaniec View Post
    https://buffalonews.com/2020/05/15/d...er-not-eating/

    I was extremely pleased the Buffalo News published this second report after being misled by the first report by a daughter who should have known better, but instead erroneously charged the nursing facility with starving her mother to death.

    I was in the same situation with a 99- year-old mother whose wishes I followed as her proxy; and before dementia set in.

    Nursing facilities are taking enough hits during the Covid-19 spread. This claim is unwarranted and pretty upsetting to me and nursing home caretakers as well.

    Lancaster’s Harris Hill facility is experiencing a high death rate, I never visited that facility. I am well acquainted with the Elderwood at Lancaster facility – volunteering there for 9 years. I visited clients numerous times at the Lancaster Greenfields facility and can attest that Lancaster is lucky to have two reputable facilities in the heart of Lancaster.

    It bothers me till this day how many families make extraordinary, selfish poor decisions to keep a loved one alive who are in their final stages of life - exhibiting no mental cognizance or quality of life.

    The report very well expresses what I likewise experienced.

    The East Aurora nursing home where a 92-year-old dementia patient died in March acted properly in her mother's dying days, said a second relative who served as the woman's health care proxy.

    “Dori’s point is that they starved her, and I do not agree. I know they offered her food. I believe they encouraged her to eat. But I asked them not to force feed her,” Bond said.

    Czora, a nurse who has worked in long-term care for 29 years, said the natural progression of a patient experiencing advanced dementia is a refusal to eat.

    “Dementia and Alzheimer’s is a progressive disease that at the end stage results in a lack of appetite. It is universally accepted as understood, and not starvation. The body doesn’t feel hunger.

    “Patients that are starting to move toward this are repulsed by food. Oftentimes families feel guilt over this, but it is important to note that it is not a sign of depression or suicide, it is a part of the terminal progression of the disease,” Czora said.

    Bond told The News her mother did not die because she stopped eating, but rather she stopped eating because she was dying.
    I lost my mother this past January. She was in an assisted living facility in SC. It was a tragic time for our family. She had end stages of liver disease. Because of the disease it affected her mentally which was stages of Dementia that stemmed from her illness. Her illness was from many years of very poor eating. During the last two weeks of her life, her Dementia progressed. She lost the appetite to eat, but prior to that she found food to be unappealing. Her refusal was a two week journey and ultimate coma. When you have end stages of the disease and Hospice services are present, they do not force feed the patient. This was a tragic season for her and our family. These are tough decisions families make all the time for their aging parents.

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    Quote Originally Posted by shortstuff View Post
    I lost my mother this past January. She was in an assisted living facility in SC. It was a tragic time for our family. She had end stages of liver disease. Because of the disease it affected her mentally which was stages of Dementia that stemmed from her illness. Her illness was from many years of very poor eating. During the last two weeks of her life, her Dementia progressed. She lost the appetite to eat, but prior to that she found food to be unappealing. Her refusal was a two week journey and ultimate coma. When you have end stages of the disease and Hospice services are present, they do not force feed the patient. This was a tragic season for her and our family. These are tough decisions families make all the time for their aging parents.
    Sorry for your loss Shortstuff.
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortstuff View Post
    I lost my mother this past January. She was in an assisted living facility in SC. It was a tragic time for our family. She had end stages of liver disease. Because of the disease it affected her mentally which was stages of Dementia that stemmed from her illness. Her illness was from many years of very poor eating. During the last two weeks of her life, her Dementia progressed. She lost the appetite to eat, but prior to that she found food to be unappealing. Her refusal was a two week journey and ultimate coma. When you have end stages of the disease and Hospice services are present, they do not force feed the patient. This was a tragic season for her and our family. These are tough decisions families make all the time for their aging parents.
    So sorry for your loss, shortstuff.

    Georgia L Schlager

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lee Chowaniec View Post
    https://buffalonews.com/2020/05/15/d...er-not-eating/

    I was extremely pleased the Buffalo News published this second report after being misled by the first report by a daughter who should have known better, but instead erroneously charged the nursing facility with starving her mother to death.

    I was in the same situation with a 99- year-old mother whose wishes I followed as her proxy; and before dementia set in.

    Nursing facilities are taking enough hits during the Covid-19 spread. This claim is unwarranted and pretty upsetting to me and nursing home caretakers as well.

    Lancaster’s Harris Hill facility is experiencing a high death rate, I never visited that facility. I am well acquainted with the Elderwood at Lancaster facility – volunteering there for 9 years. I visited clients numerous times at the Lancaster Greenfields facility and can attest that Lancaster is lucky to have two reputable facilities in the heart of Lancaster.

    It bothers me till this day how many families make extraordinary, selfish poor decisions to keep a loved one alive who are in their final stages of life - exhibiting no mental cognizance or quality of life.

    The report very well expresses what I likewise experienced.

    The East Aurora nursing home where a 92-year-old dementia patient died in March acted properly in her mother's dying days, said a second relative who served as the woman's health care proxy.

    “Dori’s point is that they starved her, and I do not agree. I know they offered her food. I believe they encouraged her to eat. But I asked them not to force feed her,” Bond said.

    Czora, a nurse who has worked in long-term care for 29 years, said the natural progression of a patient experiencing advanced dementia is a refusal to eat.

    “Dementia and Alzheimer’s is a progressive disease that at the end stage results in a lack of appetite. It is universally accepted as understood, and not starvation. The body doesn’t feel hunger.

    “Patients that are starting to move toward this are repulsed by food. Oftentimes families feel guilt over this, but it is important to note that it is not a sign of depression or suicide, it is a part of the terminal progression of the disease,” Czora said.

    Bond told The News her mother did not die because she stopped eating, but rather she stopped eating because she was dying.
    Here's one paragraph from the March 25th NYS health dept directive
    "No resident shall be denied re-admission or admission to the NH solely based on a confirmed or suspected diagnosis of Covid-19 prior to admission or re-admission."

    I would believe that some homes unknowingly accepted admissions or readmissions who may have been Covid positive. Then if the nursing home did not have a designated wing to separate the new folks, it may have spread through their little communities in the nursing home.
    All those workers are working their tails off to try to keep their residents safe.

    Every year many, many nursing home residents die from influenza
    I guess we all live to die. Sometimes these elderly residents just might not have enough fight left in them.

    Sometimes families don't want to let go instead ask for the feed tube not thinking of their loved one's quality of life

    Georgia L Schlager

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    Nursing homes are easy targets. It’s not easy to accept the mortality of beloved family members and some look for scapegoats. No one is forced to put a family member in a nursing home. One can always provide the care at home just like on the Waltons! It would certainly give each of us a deeper appreciation for the work that nursing homes do.

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    Quote Originally Posted by grump View Post
    Nursing homes are easy targets. It’s not easy to accept the mortality of beloved family members and some look for scapegoats. No one is forced to put a family member in a nursing home. One can always provide the care at home just like on the Waltons! It would certainly give each of us a deeper appreciation for the work that nursing homes do.

    One size doesn’t fit all, Grump. Yes, there are families that dump off the elderly for no other reason than not wanting to make any personal sacrifice. But in my 9 years of spending near every day in a long-term nursing facility the great majority of residents were there because:

    • Children were too old and in poor health condition themselves to administer care

    • Did not have home accommodations to take in the individual in need

    • Both caretakers having to work in today’s economic environment and not being there to assist

    • Myriad other reasons to make the Walton analogy incongruent in today’s world. Life expectancy increase and a Walton era where someone was always home are no more.

    If there is a family member at home caring for a non-functional individual and needs daily assistance, that assistance is now being provided – several hours a day, but not all day. More and more people are choosing this option because of the difficulty in getting into a reputable nursing facility and for the most part having assets to make that happen. There still has to be a person at home 24/7 to make that happen.

    There are shortcomings in every operation. I witnessed good administrators and workers, and not so good – the good by far outnumbering the not so good.

    I witnessed some of the most egregious health decisions made by family members, made in their best interest, not the resident. Some of those decision makers visited the resident rarely and who were not there when the resident was dying – but I seen nurses and aides sitting with them and comforting them when they had the time.

    Nursing home nurses, aides and other staff have difficult jobs and the great majority of them perform their jobs admirably. They are the frontline responders I admire the most. It is very upsetting when I read of a rogue nursing home care giver being singled out and the perception becomes that it is a common practice.

    It was equally upsetting to hear complaints being registered by resident family members who listened to a disgruntled resident who was in early stages of dementia or just a plain unpleasant individual – and especially complaints lodged by no-show proxy caretakers.

    I know of what I speak as I was a near daily family member visitor and volunteer as well for nine years in a Lancaster nursing home facility that was highly state rated.

    No one wants to see a loved one in a nursing home. It is the toughest decision to make, but too often it is the right decision. Once the individual becomes a nursing home resident it is incumbent that whoever made that decision visits the resident regularly and provides responsible oversight – IMHO!

    Lastly, I appreciate Gorga's post on Cuomo's March decision mandating Covid-19 individuals be returned to nursing facilities from hospitals and/or admitted. Nursing homes were not equipped to handle such a condition at that time. A horrible decision that cost numerous lives and which gave nursing homes an unwarranted black eye.

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    Member mark blazejewski's Avatar
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    New York is a state unfriendly to traditional family functions.

    Many elderly of my parents generation raised a family with the expectation that their children would remain regionally present. Regrettably, at the end of their lives, they saw the tragic results of a familial dispersal resultant from a need to escape a state whose taxes made it near-impossible for them to adequately provide for their own children.

    Perhaps that accounts for an increased need for institutional end-of-life care?
    Last edited by mark blazejewski; May 17th, 2020 at 11:10 AM.
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    Lee, I have been saying for weeks that Cuomo’s death sentence for nursing home residents was exactly that. The only real question to be answered was whether it was done by design or by the grossest of negligence. Compute the Medicaid savings that result and, in my opinion the answer is obvious. I agree with you that most nursing home workers are hard working individuals dealing with very difficult circumstances. And the absentee family members should be ashamed of themselves.

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    Quote Originally Posted by grump View Post
    Lee, I have been saying for weeks that Cuomo’s death sentence for nursing home residents was exactly that. The only real question to be answered was whether it was done by design or by the grossest of negligence. Compute the Medicaid savings that result and, in my opinion the answer is obvious. I agree with you that most nursing home workers are hard working individuals dealing with very difficult circumstances. And the absentee family members should be ashamed of themselves.
    I can no longer watch this arrogant pontificator who has been wrong on so many of his disease prognosis, whining on not having enough ventilators, hospital beds, PPE, etc. and still whining after getting them and not using them, nursing facility faux pas, estimating wrongly that stay-at-home were less at risk than essential workers, and his having to change metrics to rightfully open the phase-1 economy.

    He honestly believes that everyone in the state can’t see through his BS. We are a state in decline, and he plays the blame game very well.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mark blazejewski View Post
    Sorry for your loss Shortstuff.
    Thank you Mark...

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    Quote Originally Posted by gorja View Post
    So sorry for your loss, shortstuff.

    Thank you gorja...

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