View Poll Results: Do you attend a social function with people you can't stand/who can't stand you?

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  • Go to the event, grin and bear it, and avoid the nasty people in question.

    3 30.00%
  • Go to the event, and deal with being snapped at or confronted by the nasty people in question.

    1 10.00%
  • RSVP "yes" to the host, but then come down with a mysterious illness the day of.

    0 0%
  • Graciously say "no" and leave it at that. The stress is not worth it.

    6 60.00%
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Thread: Social Events with People You Can't Stand/Can't Stand You: Be Forced to Attend or No?

  1. #1
    Member Achbek1's Avatar
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    Social Events with People You Can't Stand/Can't Stand You: Be Forced to Attend or No?

    So springtime wedding, graduation, etc. time is approaching and that means we will all inevitably be invited to events that are also attended by in-laws and outlaws, ex'es, passive-aggressive family members, frienemies, bad blood, issues of family fueds, obnoxious siblings, basic jerks, etc.

    The question is, as adults we have free will and can make our own decisions whether or not to attend events where we will feel uncomfortable...

    Yet we also often get GUILTED into attending such events out of a sense of obligation.

    My question to you is, if attending such an event would put you in an uncomfortable situation that will cause you stress or mental anguish, do you still go because you are "obligated" to attend... or do you graciously opt out and live without the sense of grief and discomfort?
    I'm just here to make people laugh. And to confuse people. Oh, and to irritate people.

  2. #2
    Member 300miles's Avatar
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    This poll may need one more option that says

    "Go to the event, get piss-drunk so bad that you embarrass the hosts and/or sleep with their sister.

  3. #3
    Member Achbek1's Avatar
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    When I was younger I was all for the "be the bigger person" and the "grin and bear it" and "kill 'em with kindness," etc. I not only attended events with these nasty and unsavory types but I was "forced" to invite vicious and beyond unpleasant people to events that I myself was giving. I subjected myself to people who were so uncouth and inconsiderate that they literally got their jollies from being *******s to me in particular and to people in general.

    In the end, I never felt "good" from "being the better person." These nasty people would be jerks at the events and I ended up feeling worse for having them there or being around them.

    On the other hand, I have an aunt who is a lovely person but who obviously finds many members of my family a bit hard to swallow. On several events and holidays my uncle, her husband, will arrive and say Aunt ****** was "sick that day" or "got called into work."

    I don't think my aunt is really that sick that often or called into work that often.

    And ya know what? I don't hold it against my aunt at all. I think that she is well within her rights as an adult to not have to be around people who irritate her or treat her unfairly. She has every right to opt out and we have no obligation to question her or doubt her or push the issue.
    I'm just here to make people laugh. And to confuse people. Oh, and to irritate people.

  4. #4
    Member granpabob's Avatar
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    just say what you feel

    I'm old enough now to just say no (heard that before somewhere) iF i DON'T LIKE SOMEONE THEY KNOW IT. Why try to hide the facts, some people are idiots who just look for fights. I wont even talk to someone who starts swearing or yelling. if the foul language (like f bombs) start I turn and walk way no matter who or where I am. if they cant show respect for other people why should I talk to them. besides walking away realy tees them off. If I was running for office I might go where I am uncomfortable. But those days are long gone now I just tell it like it is
    One good thing about growing old is your secrets are safe with your friends they can't remember them either

  5. #5
    Member Achbek1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by granpabob View Post
    I'm old enough now to just say no (heard that before somewhere) iF i DON'T LIKE SOMEONE THEY KNOW IT. Why try to hide the facts, some people are idiots who just look for fights. I wont even talk to someone who starts swearing or yelling. if the foul language (like f bombs) start I turn and walk way no matter who or where I am. if they cant show respect for other people why should I talk to them. besides walking away realy tees them off. If I was running for office I might go where I am uncomfortable. But those days are long gone now I just tell it like it is
    Thanks Grandpa Bob. I was hoping you would respond with your wisdom

    In life we sometimes are stuck dealing with jerks in situations where we cannot simply opt out of being there, like work or school or the hospital, etc.

    But for voluntary things like attending parties, etc. (which are supposed to be pleasant nonetheless) why put ourselves in the path of asswads?
    I'm just here to make people laugh. And to confuse people. Oh, and to irritate people.

  6. #6
    Member nickelcityhomes's Avatar
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    I agree with 300miles. Never skip an open bar or the opportunity to screw a relative of the host. Hopefully the sister is hot.

    Worst case scenario: you won't get invited to the next shin-dig. Or, you could catch a disease, but I say play the odds.
    Most of all I like bulldozers and dirt

  7. #7
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    I haven't been to a Communion Party since my own.

  8. #8
    Member Achbek1's Avatar
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    There are whackjobs who you can just laugh at or ignore but there are some who are so twisted and ****ed in the head that avoiding them is not only preferable but... necessary for your own safety.
    I'm just here to make people laugh. And to confuse people. Oh, and to irritate people.

  9. #9
    Member Achbek1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Achbek1 View Post

    On the other hand, I have an aunt who is a lovely person but who obviously finds many members of my family a bit hard to swallow. On several events and holidays my uncle, her husband, will arrive and say Aunt ****** was "sick that day" or "got called into work."
    Oh, for the record, I put the stars in here because I didn't want to post the real name of my aunt. The stars aren't there bleeping anything out.

    So don't think her name is "Aunt ****face" or anything
    I'm just here to make people laugh. And to confuse people. Oh, and to irritate people.

  10. #10
    Member Achbek1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by therising View Post
    I haven't been to a Communion Party since my own.
    I'm just here to make people laugh. And to confuse people. Oh, and to irritate people.

  11. #11
    Member buffy's Avatar
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    Life is short. Go and spend time with the aunt you love. Treat others as you would like to be treated and kept your good vibe.

  12. #12
    Member Achbek1's Avatar
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    Oh, for the record yesterday was event that I opted out of. A relative just posted some pictures of it online...

    When I saw the photos from the event it did look like everyone was having a lovely time... The people I could not stand/could not stand me were not in the pictures but they were there... wreaking havoc I'm sure.

    For a tiny second I thought that maybe I should have felt guilty about not going...

    But then I realized NAAAAAH! I felt relieved.
    I'm just here to make people laugh. And to confuse people. Oh, and to irritate people.

  13. #13
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    I remember hearing someone say "Relatives are the people you would never socialize with if you werent forced to" lol
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  14. #14
    Member Achbek1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michele J View Post
    I remember hearing someone say "Relatives are the people you would never socialize with if you werent forced to" lol
    LOL In fact, one of the unsavory people in question actually brainwashed a sibling of mine into not talking to me for ten years! This same person's spouse then screwed another family member of mine out of money...

    See what I mean?
    I'm just here to make people laugh. And to confuse people. Oh, and to irritate people.

  15. #15
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    Two truths I have learned in life when it comes to family....

    1.) The difference between in-laws and outlaws is that outlaws are wanted.
    2.) Divorces are so expensive because they are worth it.

    Having those two truths in mind, I don't put myself in situations dealing with either unless absolutely necessary....like perhaps a funeral.

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