Curious as to your take on this .... woman adopts a baby into her home and then due to bonding issues, disrupts the adoption and find him a new home after 18 months ....
What are your thoughts?
disrupted adoption
Very strange situation. My first impression was the typical "how could she do such a thing" etc. More I think about it, however, I would rather she turned baby in than raise a child she does not love. Poor baby better off without her.Originally Posted by CAugust
Absolutely. It's sad for the baby, but you can't force someone to love. Hopefully the baby will be accepted by the new family.Very strange situation. My first impression was the typical "how could she do such a thing" etc. More I think about it, however, I would rather she turned baby in than raise a child she does not love. Poor baby better off without her.
I agree with iching and dave. I would add, I don't know the whole story, but 18 months makes it seem like it wasn't just a whim. I just hope this isn't the beginning of a trend!!
I feel like I don't know enough about the situation to make a decision on how I feel. Was the child special needs? They said something about him not being able to bond with them either, their could be autism or something else involved.
I don't like how the put some of the fault on the baby by saying he wasn't bonding either.
I think this woman is very selfish. However I do think it sounds like the baby will be better off with another family.
I am assuming this baby has special needs of some sort because of the lack of bonding issues. From what I was reading it sounds like the baby went through some traumatic experiences already, he was found on the side of the road and had a flat head from being left in the crib.
“Two percent of the people think; three percent of the people think they think; and ninety-five percent of the people would rather die than think.”
Yeah, that part of the story leaves a bad taste in my mouth too.
Hopefully at 18 months this baby will be able to be adopted again, and won't end up living in the foster care system most of his life.
1 Corinthians 13:1 "If I speak in the languages of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal."
Love. Nature or Nurture?
At 18 months, what does a human know about love? Nothing.
Society has been fooled into believing in the notion of love at first sight. This couldn't be further from the truth. In a long term relationships, love is a decision and not an emotion. We decide to love people. We make that decision everyday. Some days it's an easy decision, other days not so much. But the decision must be made none the less. Some people call these decisions commitment or devotion. It's the stuff that vows are kept on.
Parents have that obligation to decide to love their children, where ever they come from. Bonding comes from making that decision. Bonding may be hindered from delaying the initiation of this process, but it doesn't necessarily make it an impossible goal, it just takes longer to achieve.
Maybe, because we live in a Burger King society of having it our way, right away, this woman did not have this realization. She wanted the bonding to take place right away, like on TV.
Perhaps she felt the child would be instinctively grateful to her for being rescued and became disappointed that this did not happen. I don't think infants have the capacity for being grateful.
My gut feeling is that this particular woman could not handle the demands that a child with a disability has. Also, there may be a racial element to this as well.
So, what did her daughters, and unfortunately this boy when he realizes what happened to him early on in life, learn from this life lesson? IMMHO
1) Life, and the care of children, is disposable.
2) Relationships are disposable
3) Your worth is based on your ability to love and be loved whether you have that capacity or not.
4) Commitments are temporary.
5) Promises are made to be broken.
First Amendment rights are like muscles, if you don't exercise them they will atrophy.
You are so right! She is teaching her kids horrible lesson.
“Two percent of the people think; three percent of the people think they think; and ninety-five percent of the people would rather die than think.”
In a society where it is now acceptable to; utilize abortion as a form of birth control, celebrate the fact that 15 & 16 year olds are giving birth, proudly proclaim that someone has 2 dads or moms, be proud to father 10-12 kids from different mothers, see teens killing teens..... and this story of someone goining back on an adoption shocks you?
it all shocks me quite frankly ...... but I wish I knew more about the case ... I understand attachment disorder ... was this it? I dont know - most def the child would have trouble bonding with anyone as he was found on the side of the road with a flat head from laying in his crib and at that time was assessed to be under a year old ......... I know that older children with attachment disorder need more help than a loving family as they can be dangerous to themselves their family and those around them - its complicated, but I am not sure how this type of disorder plays out in babies ...
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