I'm thinking of asking some of these same questions at the cop station near my work tomorrow during my lunch break...

These are transcripts of conversations between police officers at the departments named and our tester:

http://cbs4.com/topstories/local_story_033170755.html

(Lauderhill P.D.
tester: Yeah, I wanted to find out how to file a complaint against an officer. I just want to find out how you do it. Do you guys have a form or something that I could take with me.
officer: Well, you got to tell me first, and then I got to hear what's going on. You've got to tell me what the complaint is.
tester: Do you have a complaint form that I can, like, fill out or something like that?
officer: Might not be a legitimate complaint.
tester: Who decides that?
officer: I'm trying to help you.
tester: Like, if there's a form, why can't I just take it and leave, right?
officer: No, you don't leave with forms. You tell me what happened, and then I help you from there. Do you have I-D on?
tester: Why?
officer: You know what? You need to leave.
tester: Why?
officer: I'm going to tell you one more time, because I can't do this anymore with you, okay. You're refusing to tell me what you want to do, okay. You're refusing to tell me who's involved, where it happened, what transpired. You'e not cooperating iwth me one bit.
tester: I was just asking if you guys have a complaint form, like if there's some way for me --
officer: Out of my way.
tester: To contact Internal Affairs.
officer: You can do whatever the hell you want. It's a free country.
man" You're cursing at me.
officer: Where do you live? Where do you live? You have to tell me where you live, what your name is, or anything like that.
tester: For a complaint? I mean, like, if I have --
officer: Are you on medications?
tester: Why would you ask me something like that?
officer: Because you're not answering any of my questions.
tester: Am I on medications?
officer: I asked you. It's a free country. I can ask you that.
tester: Okay, you're right.
officer: So you're not going to tell me who you are, you're not going to tell me what the problem is.You're not going to identify yourself.
tester: All I asked you was, like, how do I contact --
officer: You said you have a complaint. You say my officers are acting in an inappropriate manner.
officer: So leave now. Leave now. Leave now.
tester: I'm not doing anything wrong.
officer: Neither am I. It's a free country.
officer: I'm not in your face. I'm standing on the sidewalk. It's a free country. One more step forward, and you'll see what happens. Take one more step forward.)

(Miami-Dade PD Midwest Station
man" Yeah, I'm trying to find out how to file a complaint against an officer.
officer: What station does he work at?
tester: I'm ont saying he works at this facility. I'm trying to file --
officer: My question is where does he work at? He works here at this district? Just try to answer my question. I think you think this is a big conspiracy.
tester: I want to find out how you file a complaint. That's what I'm asking.
officer: If you think you can walk in here and go straight to the director of Metro Dade Police without telling me any details, you can't do it. And I -- for some reason, you think that, I don't know why. You think it's a big conspiracy, that we're going to hide some information about what happened to you, I don't know. Is it a traffic ticket? Is it something, you know, (?) complaint. That he stole your lunch money, did he steal your money, did he have sex with your wife, what?)

(Hialeah Gardens PD
tester: I want to know, how can I go about filing a complaint against a police officer?
officer: Where did the incident happen? What street?
tester: Sir, I --
officer: I'm here to hear the complaint. I'm going to take the complaint, so you've got to speak to me so that we can discuss this and see what we can do. Speak to me about it. When did this happne?
tester: Sir --
officer: Leave. Leave.
tester: So you're not going to take my complaint?
officer: Yes, I'm trying to! ANswer my questions!
tester: I don't really want to discuss it. I have --
officer: I'm going to investigate it!
tester: Is there any other way I can go about it?
officer: Do you have psychological problems or what?)

(South Miami PD
tester: I'm trying to find out how to file a complaint against a police officer. Is there a complaint form or something like that?
officer: It don't work that way.
tester: You said there's not a complaint form that I can just -- there's nothing I can just get and take and fill out?
officer: That ain't hte way it works.)

(Hollywood PD
officer: What can I do for you?
tester: I'm trying to find out how to file a complaint against an officer.
officer: Which officer would that be?
tester: Um, I mean, I just want to find out how to do it right now. That's what I want.
officer: You would talk to me.
tester: So there's not, like, a form or something? That's the only way to do it.
officer: Yep.)

(Hallandale Beach PD
tester: I want to know how to file a complaint against an officer.
officer: If you want to file a complaint, I need to know what officer, so I know what sergeant to send you to.
tester: Do you have a complaint form or something?
officer: No, you'll have to talk to a sergeant.)

(Sunny Isles PD
tester: Yeah, I'm trying to find out how to file a complaint against an officer? Have you got a complaint form?
officer: No, you have to talk to a sergeant.)

(Miami Springs PD
tester: Okay, so like, there's not a form or something?
officer: No.)

(Miami Beach PD
tester: Okay, there's not, like, a form or anything like that I can take?
officer: No.)

(Pembroke Pines PD
tester: I'm just trying to find out how to file a complaint against an officer.
officer: You need to talk to the supervisor, up the hall.
tester: Is there a form around here I can take?
officer: No.)

(Coral Gables PD
tester: You don't have a complaint form or anything like that?
officer: A what?
tester: A complaint form.
officer: You have to go through a sergeant first.
tester: So that's the only way to do it, to sit down with a sergeant?
officer: That's the only way.
tester: Not a form? No form to give me?
officer: No, we don't have a generic form.
tester: No generic form?
officer: No.
tester: Okay.)

(City of Pinecrest PD
tester: How do I file a complaint against an officer?
officer: Um --
tester: Is there a form or something?
officer: A form? No, there's no form.)

(Wilton Manors PD
tester: You don't have a brochure that I can leave?
officer: There's no form, there's no brochure, there's nothing like that.)

(Sea Ranch PD
cop; We don't give you -- we don't give you a form. Where do you live?
tester: I don't want to say.
officer: You don't want to say?
tester: Where are you going?
officer: You want to play hardball? We'll play hardball. I want ID.
tester: For what?
officer: I'm asking you for ID right now, that's why. Here, hand it to me. Hand it to me.
tester: Are you kidding me? Here.
officer: I said, hand me your ID. What are you doing here? This is --
tester: I came to ask you how to file a complaint.
officer: This is very suspicious.
tester: Asking how to file a complaint is suspicious?
officer: Why don't you shut up?
officer: I say this is very suspicious, that you pull in here at this time of night --
tester: Eight o'clock?
officer: You're constantly butting in.
tester: I'm constantly butting in?
Mike: Sir, I would like to leave.
officer: I would love it, but he's got your driver's license, so you're just going to have to stay.
Mike: Sir, are you detaining us?
officer: Okay, could I give you a ticket right now for improper backing.
Mike: You can do whatever you want, I suppose.
officer: Okay, that means yes, I guess you're saying, right? ANd for backing up, correct, yes?
Mike: I was backing up, sir, because I was leaving.
officer: But because I'm a nice guy, okay, I'm going to give you a warning. Is that fair?
Mike: Yes, sir.
officer: Okay.)

(Broward sheriff North Lauderdale
tester: There's no way, like, to just write it down or something like --
officer: Well, first, why don't you tell me what happened, and I'll tell you if somebody did something wrong to you.
Tester: I feel like I know when somebody did something wrong, I mean, like, you know --
officer: Maybe not. Some people don't. Some people think we're not allowed to do certain things, and we are. Sometimes, you know, some guys take it overboard, and they're not allowed to do that.
tester: Right.
officer: I don't know what happened.
tester: Right, right. Yeah, I mean, I don't want to talk --
officer: I tried to help you, but obvously you've got issues.
tester: I don't have issues, man.)