Originally Posted by
Achbek1
Okay, this recent John Rosemond article for some reason ticked me off to no end. A lot of what he says does make sense, but I think his little tidbits of advice at times sound a bit draconian and like words coming from a self-righteous meanie who thinks that cruelty and denial is somehow "better" and that any kind of fun or entertainment is somehow shameful and evil.
Yeah, it's true that you don't want to spoil and over-indulge your children, but a little harmless fun once in a while is harmless and healthy. Being a battle axe of a parent to the other extreme will only harm your kids more in my opinion.
I'm re-posting the article here and adding my comments.
[I]Some parenting resolutions
by John Rosemond
Updated: January 10, 2011, 7:04 AM
Given that this is a new year, I’m proposing a number of parenting New Year’s resolutions for my readers to consider. The list is by no means comprehensive. It’s just a good beginning on what is probably a much-needed family revolution:
1.We will not throw expensive “event parties” for our children on their birthdays. Instead, we will confine all birthday celebrations to our family, including extended family. We will keep it uncomplicated: a special dinner of the birthday boy or girl’s favorite food, a cake, the obligatory song, and a few simple gifts, mostly clothing or other useful things.
Okay, Mr. Rosemond. So you are saying we are not allowed to let children have maybe a few friends over on their birthdays? We are not allowed to do a simple theme such as puppies or cowboys or butterflies, because that would be an "even" party and thus over-indulging? We are not allowed to give our children TOYS on their birthdays, just CLOTHES? Let me guess, Mr. Rosemond, you think that TOYS AND PLAY must be BAD or EVIL or sign of OVER INDULGENCE? Come on! Birthdays are meant to be celebrated and kids shouldn't have to just limit the event to Mod, Dad and Aunt Edna. And, for the record, TOYS HELP KIDS LEARNS AND ENCOURAGE SOCIAL PLAY for cryin' out loud. Man Mr. Rosemond, what did your parents do for your birthdays when you were a kid? Give you a plate of mashed potatoes and some socks? No wonder you felt compelled to go to school for psychology. Sounds like you had a lot to figure out yourself!
2.We will spend at least as much time helping our children develop good manners as we do helping them get good grades in school, which means we will cut back significantly on the time helping with the latter (in consideration of the fact that good manners, which are expressions of respect for others, will take one further in life than will good grades). Each week, we will work on one specific social courtesy, such as saying “excuse me” when you walk in front of someone. Taking two weeks off, that’s 50 courtesies a year!
Okay, Mr. Rosemond. I agree with you on this.
3.We will show our love for our neighbors by properly disciplining our children, insisting on proper behavior, and reprimanding immediately (even if that means in front of other people) when they behave otherwise, and on those occasions we will also insist they apologize appropriately.
Okay, Mr. Rosemond. I agree with you on this also .
4. If we have not already done so, we will assign a routine of daily chores to each of our children (at least those who have reached their third birthdays) and we will insist that said chores be done, and done properly, before they engage in recreation or relaxation.
Okay, agree also. .
5. When our children ask us for cell phones, we will tell them that they may have cell phones when they are able to pay for them as well as the monthly bills.
Fair enough. But sometimes an emergency cell phone is necessary if the child needs to be picked up or is stuck somewhere nad no public phones are available. But I suspect Mr. Rosemond that you see cell phones as frivolous and shameful "toys" rather than a sometimes necessary tool for communication.
The rest later.