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Thread: Schmucky Craigslist Jobs: Cross Posting Thread

  1. #31
    Member Achbek1's Avatar
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    DRUNKS, DRUGGIES AND MORONS NEED WORK TOO, RIGHT?

    http://buffalo.craigslist.org/lab/2280280060.html

    Auto Detailing and Car Wash (buffalo,n.y.)
    Date: 2011-03-22, 3:53PM EDT
    Reply to: enssign@yahoo.com [Errors when replying to ads?]

    Opening a hand car wash, waxing, and detailing. Need workers and managers with experience. Call Mr. Carnahan at 716-846-9656. No druggies or drunks need to apply. Send resumes to enssign@yahoo.com

    * Location: buffalo,n.y.
    * Compensation: $8.00 and up depending on experience
    * Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
    * Phone calls about this job are ok.
    * Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.



    PostingID: 2280280060


    http://buffalo.craigslist.org/lab/2246311844.html

    help wanted!!! (niagara falls)
    Date: 2011-03-04, 7:37AM EST
    Reply to: job-wz97f-2246311844@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

    Home Repair help needed. All around knowledge prefered Good painting skills required. Own truck Own tools prefered. No druggies, no alchies, no sleeping beauties. Call 716-534-9367 start today $10-$12+

    * Location: niagara falls
    * Compensation: will discuss. based on skills.
    * Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
    * Phone calls about this job are ok.
    * Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.



    PostingID: 2246311844


    http://buffalo.craigslist.org/trd/2238262970.html

    need roofers (wny)
    Date: 2011-02-27, 9:23PM EST
    Reply to: sktrgy876@gmail.com [Errors when replying to ads?]

    Looking for a few experinced roofers to join our expanding company. Must have hand tools and reliable transportation. Absolutely no drunks, druggies or morons.
    Please email resumes to sktrgy876@gmail.com.

    * Location: wny
    * Compensation: to be discussed
    * Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
    * Please, no phone calls about this job!
    * Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.



    PostingID: 2238262970
    I'm just here to make people laugh. And to confuse people. Oh, and to irritate people.

  2. #32
    Member Achbek1's Avatar
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    This one looks like it's just BEGGING FOR A REALITY SHOW TO BE MADE ABOUT IT:

    I think a DOLLY PARTON or DELTA BURKE type would be best, ya think?

    http://buffalo.craigslist.org/fbh/2301528846.html

    House Mom for Adult Club (Tonawanda, NY)
    Date: 2011-04-02, 3:29PM EDT
    Reply to: job-sjaxa-2301528846@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

    Tiffany's Cabaret and Steakhouse is now hiring a House Mom to assist with the ladies getting ready to perform on stage (will train) and more... Please call Tiffany for further details and to setup an interview. 719-235-4241

    * Location: Tonawanda, NY
    * Compensation: please call
    * Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
    * Please, no phone calls about this job!
    * Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.



    PostingID: 2301528846
    I'm just here to make people laugh. And to confuse people. Oh, and to irritate people.

  3. #33
    Member fiona's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Achbek1 View Post
    This one looks like it's just BEGGING FOR A REALITY SHOW TO BE MADE ABOUT IT:

    I think a DOLLY PARTON or DELTA BURKE type would be best, ya think?

    http://buffalo.craigslist.org/fbh/2301528846.html

    House Mom for Adult Club (Tonawanda, NY)
    Date: 2011-04-02, 3:29PM EDT
    Reply to: job-sjaxa-2301528846@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

    Tiffany's Cabaret and Steakhouse is now hiring a House Mom to assist with the ladies getting ready to perform on stage (will train) and more... Please call Tiffany for further details and to setup an interview. 719-235-4241

    * Location: Tonawanda, NY
    * Compensation: please call
    * Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
    * Please, no phone calls about this job!
    * Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.



    PostingID: 2301528846
    If you have Netflix, Rick's TallyHo made it into the first episode of Crank Yankers.
    Meow, baby

  4. #34
    Member Achbek1's Avatar
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    This sounds like a HEAVENLY job!

    http://buffalo.craigslist.org/ofc/2331653766.html

    PERSONAL/ ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT
    Date: 2011-04-18, 1:31AM EDT
    Reply to: see below

    Seeking motivated team player witth an Administrative Assistant experience who would provide administrative support to my busy sales team.
    Excellent phone skills required – being well spoken and articulate, with a command of business etiquette is essential.please send all resumes to jameswaynemysteryinc@hotmail.com

    * Compensation: GOD PAY

    * Telecommuting is ok.
    * This is a part-time job.
    * This is a contract job.
    * OK to highlight this job opening for persons with disabilities
    * OK for recruiters to contact this job poster.
    * Phone calls about this job are ok.
    * Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.



    PostingID: 2331653766
    I'm just here to make people laugh. And to confuse people. Oh, and to irritate people.

  5. #35
    Member Achbek1's Avatar
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    Hey, why not?

    A great opportunity for fit/active women $20/hr (ROCHESTER)
    Date: 2011-04-19, 8:18AM EDT
    Reply to: job-wdc47-2334011694@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

    Are you a female between the ages of 18 and 35 who suffers from the unsightly appearance of cellulite? Do you have problems finding jeans that fit because you are cursed with a 'bubble butt'? Have you tried diet and exercise with little or no results? Are you within 15lbs of your ideal weight for your body type? Are you physically fit/active and eat a balanced diet? If you answered YES to any of these questions, then we would like to hear from you. Take advantage of this unique opportunity to be a test subject to receive a few FREE all natural body contouring treatments. This is NOT a weight loss system, but it is designed to refine and reshape your body while elmiinating the appearance of cellulite which is impossible to get rid of via exercise. In addition to receiving free treatments, you will also be compensated $15/hr for your time. No chemicals, drugs or machines will be used, so there are no side effects! We are only looking to fill 5 positions, emails will be answered in the order received. If you're willling to help us out and think you can benefit from the treatments, send your name, age. contact number, height, weight and problem areas.


    * Location: ROCHESTER
    * Compensation: $20/hr
    * This is a part-time job.
    * This is a contract job.
    * This is an internship job
    * Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
    * Please, no phone calls about this job!
    * Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.



    PostingID: 2334011694


    http://buffalo.craigslist.org/etc/2334011694.html
    I'm just here to make people laugh. And to confuse people. Oh, and to irritate people.

  6. #36
    Member Achbek1's Avatar
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    Classic.

    http://buffalo.craigslist.org/trd/2306166995.html

    Concrete finisher (Buffalo WNY area)
    Date: 2011-04-05, 3:03AM EDT
    Reply to: job-mudgc-2306166995@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

    Look for a skilled concrete finisher. You will need to be able to set-up, pull, and or finish. On tear out days you will have to be able to swing a sledge hammer, or opperate the machine. This is not a union job where you stand around and watch other people work. Your level of skill will determine you rate of pay. Im not looking for people who say they can do everything and cant even wipe there own ass. Having a CDL is a plus. More often then not we dont work weekends unles you want to, i have a family and a wife that i spend time with. Please respond with a resume or your background history in this feild. Please be as detailed as possible. Respond with a way to contact you like a phone number. Looking to hire with in the next week. 716 844-8685

    * Location: Buffalo WNY area
    * Compensation: Based on level of skill.
    * Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
    * Please, no phone calls about this job!
    * Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.



    PostingID: 2306166995
    I'm just here to make people laugh. And to confuse people. Oh, and to irritate people.

  7. #37
    Member fiona's Avatar
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    FWIW, I landed a very good job within the last few months, that was posted on Craigslist exclusively. There are a few good ones in that mess.
    Meow, baby

  8. #38
    Member Achbek1's Avatar
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    DID THIS PERSON FAIL PRE-COLLEGE ENGLISH? OR DOES THIS PERSON JUST SPELL WORDS IN CHAUCER STYLE MIDDLE ENGLISH?

    ...BUT WAIT, at the end there is a TRICK!

    http://buffalo.craigslist.org/ofc/2251945073.html

    Admin expert (East Aurora)
    Date: 2011-03-07, 11:59AM EST
    Reply to: job-hnr4r-2251945073@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

    Arden Farm Seeks an Adminastrative assistant. Position involves all office tasks related to a small diversified organic farm. This includes but is not limited to; record keeping, payroll, ar/ap, corospondance, web stuff and those kind of things. The ideal applacant will be well organized, able to compleat tasks sucintly and adroitly. Knowlage of MS office, web stuff, industry standard business practices and execellent writing skills is esiential. An interest in organic food and farming is stronly recomended.
    Pay is 10/hr and fresh organice fruit, vegetables, eggs and meat.
    4hrs/week min. this is a seasonal position and the workload varies.
    possiable more hours doing farm work.

    Please respond with your resume and this ad rewritten with expert style, grammar and spelling.



    * Location: East Aurora
    * Compensation: 10/ hr
    * This is a part-time job.
    * Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
    * Please, no phone calls about this job!
    * Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.



    PostingID: 2251945073
    I'm just here to make people laugh. And to confuse people. Oh, and to irritate people.

  9. #39
    Member Achbek1's Avatar
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    IT JUST KEEPS GETTIN' BETTER!

    http://buffalo.craigslist.org/trd/2314820072.html

    Auto Tech position (Tonawanda/Amherst area)
    Date: 2011-04-09, 11:57AM EDT
    Reply to: job-n4y9u-2314820072@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

    Long standing independent shop looking to add to our family. You take pride in your work and are tired of it always being a numbers or political game. Pretty straightforward gig: You bring your own tools, a clean license, good attitude and some experience. Do your job, take care of the customers, leave your cigarettes at home. First and foremost we want good people. We don't want druggies, drama queens, wannabes or shop-hoppers. We offer competive pay, just enough of a bonus program to keep things interesting + holiday & vacation pay. E-mail replies only with a phone number where you can be reached. Thanks for checking this out.

    * Location: Tonawanda/Amherst area
    * Compensation: $10-$20/hr based on skills/experience
    * Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
    * Please, no phone calls about this job!
    * Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.



    PostingID: 2314820072
    I'm just here to make people laugh. And to confuse people. Oh, and to irritate people.

  10. #40
    Member Achbek1's Avatar
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    Anyone intersted in bein' a cleaneer?

    http://buffalo.craigslist.org/lab/2345173199.html

    Cleaneer needed (Lockport )
    Date: 2011-04-25, 1:00PM EDT
    Reply to: job-wjhqr-2345173199@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
    Cleaning positions available hours are from 6pm to 10 pm monday thru friday if you are intersted please contact john at 716-835-6167.

    * Location: Lockport
    * Compensation: 7.50 to start
    * Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
    * Please, no phone calls about this job!
    * Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.



    PostingID: 2345173199
    I'm just here to make people laugh. And to confuse people. Oh, and to irritate people.

  11. #41
    Member nickelcityhomes's Avatar
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    I think we all know what happens if you contact a "john" for a "cleaneer".

    Leave it to Lockport
    Most of all I like bulldozers and dirt

  12. #42
    Member Achbek1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nickelcityhomes View Post
    I think we all know what happens if you contact a "john" for a "cleaneer".

    Leave it to Lockport
    *Spits out coffee on keyboard*
    I'm just here to make people laugh. And to confuse people. Oh, and to irritate people.

  13. #43
    Member Achbek1's Avatar
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    THIS ONE'S GONNA PROBABLY GET DELETED SOON...

    http://buffalo.craigslist.org/trp/2352536645.html

    Wanted: Henchmen (Downtown)
    Date: 2011-04-29, 8:06AM EDT
    Reply to: job-eufvn-2352536645@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
    I have the plans [see below, far bottom] but I don’t have the manpower to pull this operation off. So, if you’re looking to get your hench on, I need to hear from you. You might be thinking, “Well, I sure don’t want to align myself with the wrong super villain, I hear global takeovers can be messy & I bet my 401K won’t roll over.” Wrong; didn’t you check out the plans [see below, far bottom]? Right; many, if not most, henchmen will perish during
    Operation: Coolio’s Comeback. And wrong; our Human Resources department is top notch.
    Still not convinced? Boom! I just went upside your head with some crazy awesome uniforms.
    Front view:

    Back view:

    Now you know it just got real.

    Times are tough, jobs are tight & you’ve got a future to think about (assuming you survive Operation: Coolio’s Comeback). Don’t settle for anything less than than the best in global domination schemes. Oh, did I mention casual Fridays?

    Women and minorities strongly encouraged to apply.


    * Location: Downtown
    * Compensation: BOE
    * Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
    * Please, no phone calls about this job!
    * Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.



    PostingID: 2352536645
    I'm just here to make people laugh. And to confuse people. Oh, and to irritate people.

  14. #44
    Member Achbek1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Achbek1 View Post
    THIS ONE'S GONNA PROBABLY GET DELETED SOON...

    http://buffalo.craigslist.org/trp/2352536645.html

    Wanted: Henchmen (Downtown)
    Date: 2011-04-29, 8:06AM EDT
    Reply to: job-eufvn-2352536645@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
    I have the plans [see below, far bottom] but I don’t have the manpower to pull this operation off. So, if you’re looking to get your hench on, I need to hear from you. You might be thinking, “Well, I sure don’t want to align myself with the wrong super villain, I hear global takeovers can be messy & I bet my 401K won’t roll over.” Wrong; didn’t you check out the plans [see below, far bottom]? Right; many, if not most, henchmen will perish during
    Operation: Coolio’s Comeback. And wrong; our Human Resources department is top notch.
    Still not convinced? Boom! I just went upside your head with some crazy awesome uniforms.
    Front view:

    Back view:

    Now you know it just got real.

    Times are tough, jobs are tight & you’ve got a future to think about (assuming you survive Operation: Coolio’s Comeback). Don’t settle for anything less than than the best in global domination schemes. Oh, did I mention casual Fridays?

    Women and minorities strongly encouraged to apply.


    * Location: Downtown
    * Compensation: BOE
    * Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
    * Please, no phone calls about this job!
    * Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.



    PostingID: 2352536645
    Oh, he's got pictures too but you need to click the link to see them: http://buffalo.craigslist.org/trp/2352536645.html

    Hurry up before someone deletes it!
    I'm just here to make people laugh. And to confuse people. Oh, and to irritate people.

  15. #45
    Member Frank Broughton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Achbek1 View Post
    Oh, he's got pictures too but you need to click the link to see them: http://buffalo.craigslist.org/trp/2352536645.html

    Hurry up before someone deletes it!
    too late...
    The above is opinion & commentary, I am exercising my 1st Amendment rights as a US citizen. Posts are NOT made with any malicious intent.

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