Hey! A Positive Point!

[Son of Liberty]

I think the biggest positive in this area is and, forgive me if this has been mentioned before, the compassion and goodness of the community when it comes to charitable events or if an family or individual falls upon some difficult times.

For instance, on Channel 2 last night there was a story about two families who had children who had muscular dystrophy or cerebal palsy, I don't recall which. Anyway, one family was here in Buffalo, the other in Atlanta. They apparently met thru the hospitals or support groups.

The two Moms were talking and the one that is in Atlanta mentioned that it would be nice if they had a van to tansport their child around in but they could not afford one. The other Mom from Buffalo stated she had one and they are indeed a huge help.

So what did she do? She gave her van to the Mom in Atlanta! A trapsort company heard of this a offered to drive the van on a flatbed for free to Atlanta.

This is just one story that has been publicized. I am sure there are other acts of kindness in this city/county that goes unreported but is just as significant.

Just when you think you have problems, you come across someone else who makes yours less relevent. Count your blessings folks!

[HipKat]

Originally posted by Son of Liberty
I think the biggest positive in this area is and, forgive me if this has been mentioned before, the compassion and goodness of the community when it comes to charitable events or if an family or individual falls upon some difficult times.



i USED to think this. But it's not true. My Fiance and I (and our 2 mo old daughter) were recently evicted fom our apt. We were 1 MONTH behind on rent and I had arrangements to have that cought up when the lanlord took us to court. He said NO!! He wanted us out. We had 7 days to find a place, which didn't happen, get our things out of the apt., which didn't happen (yes, we're locked out and our things are still there). I offered him a months rent to let us slide through july and he refused. We are now staying at my Mother's 1 bdrm trailer (pre-fabbed house) in Clarence, but al our stuff is locked in the apt. Not ONE person came to our aid. I posted on message boards (not this one) that we hang out on, for someone to please help us move our things out. No one replied. None of our friends came through. None of my family came through (my GF's family is all in Peopria, IL), my brother had a party the day we were evicted and couldn't take the time to help us move.

Our neighbors didn't come through. We looked at apt, and btw, we have Social services backing us, rent wise, deposit wise, etc and not ONE person would take pity and let us have a place to live. I just started a new job that will pay me over 80,000.00 a year (hopefully..sales, ya know...) and have an exemplorary record as a tenant, and everyone who showed us apt's. said no based on one stupid eviction by a cold hearted slumlord (who BTW gave everyone a good refferral for us a tenants...go figure), who couldn't let me get caught up after I lost my job and fell behind...by ONE month!!!!!

This is NOT the city of good neighbors. It's a city of narrow minded, mind-my-own business, turn your back on each other, self-serving jerks, as far as I'm concerned.
The fac tthat someone could throw a 2 month old out on the street, for NO reason, the fact that not ONE person cared, makes me sick!

[Boost Buffalo]

with all due respect Hipcat, something tells me there's more to your story.

[HipKat]

That's what everyone says, but there really isn't. I fell behind, started catching yup and when he took me to court, I was 1 month behind. He said no to leting me slide til the end of the week, the entire place was shocked at this, and then we got the 72 hour notice to vacate. Offered him a month's rent to slide til August so we could have time to find a place and he called the Marshall's and locked us out.

[crlachepinochet]

I moved into a place once and lived there for two weeks without a fridge or a stove. The landlord could not have cared any less about mine and my fiancee's needs; it was really disgusting. So I ended up moving everything I owned twice in two and a half weeks (three times in a month when I found a new place) in the August heat. And there's nothing like using your Hyundai Excel as an RV! Try posting on this MB next time, and I'll probably be available when you get back into your apartment. Just call me a sympathetic soul.

[buffy]

Originally posted by Boost Buffalo with all due respect Hipcat, something tells me there's more to your story.

HipKat: [/B][/QUOTE] "that's what everybody says"[/B][/QUOTE]

:)

Hey HipKat:
1) Why aren't you married? It irritates me that you have a child with your "fiance." Fiances are women who are planning their weddings.
2) Maybe you would get more respect if your life reflected respect
3) If social services takes care of your rent why were you so far behind (at one point)

[therising]

Originally posted by Buff Lifer
HipKat: "that's what everybody says"[/B][/QUOTE]

:)

Hey HipKat:
1) Why aren't you married? It irritates me that you have a child with your "fiance." Fiances are women who are planning their weddings.
[/B][/QUOTE]

Very, very judgmental, Buffy. I'm surprised at you.
Some people may say that a respectable woman would not be up at 3 AM, posting on a Message Board.:D


BTW - Hikat, wasn't that you that posted something a few months ago about a lawsuit with an ex-landlord ??

[buffy]

1) Why aren't you married? It irritates me that you have a child with your "fiance." Fiances are women who are planning their weddings.


Very funny,
You know what I'm talking about...these people who have a "fiance' for years & years, meanwhile the fiance is having children, getting social servcies, whatever...it annoys me, the term "fiance" has lost it's original luster.

[therising]

Originally posted by Buff Lifer
Very funny,
You know what I'm talking about...these people who have a "fiance' for years & years, meanwhile the fiance is having children, getting social servcies, whatever...it annoys me, the term "fiance" has lost it's original luster.


How come no one told me that you didn't have to marry your fiance? :D

I figured once I bought the ring...

[Chancellor Qu'noH]

A lot of things are not the way they use to be Buff Lifer.....Hell I have been married to the same woman for over 37 years.....and still love her to death! :D

[ERIEMAN]

Originally posted by Buff Lifer
Very funny,
You know what I'm talking about...these people who have a "fiance' for years & years, meanwhile the fiance is having children, getting social servcies, whatever...it annoys me, the term "fiance" has lost it's original luster.

Because "fiance" has lost it's luster, does that mean we can stop buying ridiculously expensive rings now?

[speaker]

Common Law is what a live in significant other is. Fiance is for people who are engaged to be married within a year or so. Recognized as such by family and friends. I agree the word fiance is tarnished. But hipcat has a lot to learn--noone put a 2 month old out on the street, the parents took that chance. I sound very judgmental, too, I guess, but these parents were thinking more of themselves than the baby.:(

[ERIEMAN]

Originally posted by speaker
Common Law is what a live in significant other is. Fiance is for people who are engaged to be married within a year or so. Recognized as such by family and friends. I agree the word fiance is tarnished. But hipcat has a lot to learn--noone put a 2 month old out on the street, the parents took that chance. I sound very judgmental, too, I guess, but these parents were thinking more of themselves than the baby.:(

First thing i would do if i lost my job is cancel my cable subscription as well as my INTERNET CONNECTION!

[Linda_D]

I guess I'm with the judgemental crew on this, Hipkat.

I have sympathy for sixteen-year-olds that get caught in this kind of bind, but not much for adults. You and (I'm assuming here, I know) your "fiance" are adults, so you ought to have your lives even half-way together before you start having children. You two didn't have to have this baby at this time -- and I am not referring to her having an abortion, either. Adults act responsibly, and what bigger responsibility is there than bringing a child into the world?

[ERIEMAN]

I'm surprised at how judgemental people are about having children out of wedlock. I know plenty of people who have had children at a very young age and have become very successful in their careers as well as in raising their child. **** happens, and when it does, you grow up and deal with it.

There's a big difference between having a child out of wedlock and being an adult about it, and having a child out of wedlock and staying a child yourself. It's not the act of having (and keeping) a child that makes a person irresponsible, it's not taking care of your own responsibilities after you've had a child that makes you irresponsible.

And it's blaming the misfortunes that you've created for yourself on other people that really makes a person look irresponsible.

[ERIEMAN]

My wife lived in NYC for a year. I had never been to NYC before, so visiting her gave me the opportunity to finally see the city. We went on the subway, and I naturally said "hi" to the guy next to me. The guy turned to me and said "you're lucky I'm a nice guy. I can tell you aren't from here. So you know, if you say hi to random people around here, you'll eventually get your ass kicked."

Son of Liberty is 100% right. Our nice residents are a huge positive point.

[buffy]

OK Erieman, so you agree with us...because we are NOT being judgemental, just agast that an adult couple with a child (who have social services) are basically homeless because no one wants to rent to them. He blames everyone but himself.

As far as children out of wedlock, yeah, **** happens...but responsible adults need to use PRECAUTIONS because to do otherwise creates a human being who depends on you. It is NOT fair to children, and I don't want to get into this too deeply, but, IDEALY you want to give your child a better life than you had.

[stevenco]

Everyone's situation is different. Don't make any judgments on the Hipkat. If you think you have someone figured out, you are most likely wrong. People can't even figure themselves out. I know I can't.
You wan't to be constructive, offer some advice instead of typing some self-righteous blanket statement. Do I have to teach ya'll everything?:)

[Linda_D]

Maybe it's time that society NOT be so approving of people who have children that they can't take care of. It's not about marriage, but about whether or not the parents have the ability to provide a decent life for their child. It's also not about age, either. Some "kids" are more mature and responsible at 17 than some "adults" are at 30.

-- If you aren't emotionally mature, you shouldn't have a child.
-- If you don't have some financial wherewithal, you shouldn't have a child.
-- If you're trying to trap a guy into marrying or staying with you, you shouldn't have a child.
-- If you're having trouble in your relationship, married or not, you shouldn't have a child.
-- If you are too lazy, too ignorant, too self-centered or too high to use contraception, you shouldn't have a child -- and if you create one, seriously think of giving that child up for adoption so that he or she can have a decent life. All children deserve to be wanted.

[stevenco]

Originally posted by Linda_D
-- If you aren't emotionally mature, you shouldn't have a child.
-- .

..as if people who are emotionally immature are aware of it.:rolleyes:

[buffy]

right is right...nothing self-righteous about the truth. I didn't say I was perfect; "there but for the grace of God, go I"

There you go, thinking you know me. I am not being self-righteous.

now, let's get off the hipster :o

[stevenco]

Originally posted by Buff Lifer

There you go, thinking you know me.

I know you aint talkin' to me.

[granpabob]

wow I thought this was for positive posts .see yah

[buffy]

Originally posted by stevenco
I know you aint talkin' to me.

Well look around, grandpabob just left and Linda D's in Jamestown.

anyway, here's some positive advice for HipKat...you've got to buck-up ...I sympathize with your situation and understand that the quick spiral down took you by surprise...now you have to get into high gear (and forgive me if you know this) but its time to get serious about employment and providing for your family. Your fiance can't be very happy about crashing at your Mom's, but turn this into a positive. Crank out your resume and make it your job to find a job even if it means relocating.