Things You Will Not Hear God Say

[Bringthetruth]

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[winfield31]

<EMBED name=godtube pluginspage=http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer align=middle src=""http://godtube.com/flvplayer.swf width=330 height=270 type=application/x-shockwave-flash allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" quality="high" wmode="transparent" FlashVars="viewkey=a08e32a89a8ea94f007a"></EMBED>nice video , yes God is madly in love with His children , no matter who you are & there's nothing you can do about it , He's "The Man" !

[BlaCkROcKDan]

That Satan...hes such a cut up...

Lets do some lines...

Allah's got no game...

Does this dress make me look fat?

Mentos anyone??

Hey Spitzer Lets get loaded and pick up some hookers ..

Hey Hitler...get me a beer

Look at the fun bags on her!!

I am so friggen horny

Hey Eve...why don't you come over here and worship me...

[BlaCkROcKDan]

hey mesue is hot!!!

[Foot Fungus]

-Pass the pulled pork plate please.

-It's Sunday. We are closed for the day. Please call back during normal business hours, Monday through Friday from 9-5 or Saturday from 9-12. Thank you.

-I created this? What was I thinking?

-Somehow, I just don't think they're getting it.

-Hi George, it's Him. I think you should run for president.

-Yes we can.

[winfield31]

He'll never say "God Bless You" after you sneeze.............

[BlaCkROcKDan]

I like em' shaved!!

[bigpoppapuff]

"I'm all in"..

"I'm diggin' hip-hop these days"

"I'll have the consomme.....watching my weight,you know"...

[Foot Fungus]

Hot dogs are made from REAL beef.

I don't like sitting on the beach, the sand keeps going in my crack.

Dog spelled backward is God.

Recycle.

The price of gas is ridiculous, I'm going hybrid.

The urinal is broken.

Do I get a vacation after a year?

Vitamins. One A Day or Flintstones chewable?

My old Keds sneakers were red.

The pope does crap in the woods.

Santa is a pedophile.

That hooker costs how much?

I just glued the cat to the wall.

If Jesus was a carpenter, does that make me a developer?

The moon IS made of green cheese.

I just duplicated a Sunday funny onto my Silly Putty. Cool!

Trix are for kids.

Your barn door is open.

Snot is a funny word.

Heaven is a place where nothing ever really happens.

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.

Is that a pickle in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

[Foot Fungus]

Hey man, smell my finger.

Stupid is as stupid does.

Who peed in the pool?

I like Spam.

Pork, the real white meat.

It all tastes like chicken.

Never flush a tampon.

Mimes suck!

I'll have an order of Freedom Fries please.

Don't you know there's starving people in Africa? Clean that plate young man.

Jerry Falwell had sex with his mother in an outhouse?

Taxi!

The truth is out there.

A waffle is just a pancake with little squares on it.

What's that in the CD changer?

I like Hannah Montana.

Why is the toilet water blue?

This condom is too tight.

It's 11 o' clock, do you know where your children are?

Are those real?

Sugar shots are for girls.

..and she's buying a stairway to heaven...

I know where Jimmy Hoffa is.

I must have left it in my other pants.

Debbie Gibson is pregnant with my two-headed love child.

I actually enjoyed Glitter.

Moses, put down that staff, you're scaring the fish!

Let stand for two minutes, then serve.

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.

Bird, bird, bird. The bird is the word.

Get that altar boy away from that priest you fool!

This is the church, this is the steeple. Open the doors and there's the people.

What's up with that?

Romance is dead.

LOL

LMAO

LMMFAO

GFY

Why is everything so green?

I boogied in the kitchen and I boogied in the hall, I boogied on my finger and I wiped it on the wall.

I never thought I would consume human flesh, but after tasting yours, I changed my mind.

Help McGruff take a bite out of crime.

Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette.

My balls itch.

#9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9, #9,

I'm just sayin....

Eenie, meenie, minie, moe...

Midgets are cute.

Did you see that Paris Hilton sex tape?

Travis Henry, go forth and multiply.

George Bush doesn't like black people.

Michael Jackson has never had cosmetic surgery.

Stop! Hammer Time!

Janeanne Garafolo is hot!

Ann Coulter is a man.

Could you please pass the salt?

Jump on in honey, you can ride the stick shift.

...and three hard boiled eggs...

Who's on first?...

I like the stockings with the line running up the back.

Stop it or you'll go blind.

One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.

Put a sock in it!

What's the difference between milk and cream?

One lump or two?

Holy hand grenades Batman!

I'd like two pounds of the olive loaf.

I'm with stupid->

My other car is in the shop.

The priests always have the best wine.

That tickles.

That lipstick makes you look like a whore!

Hold the anchovies.

I'll take theology for 300 Alex.

[bigpoppapuff]

it's official,fungi.....you are the new star!!


LMFFAO!!! (sorry)

[Foot Fungus]

That's a really nice pork pie hat.

Has anybody seen Mike Hunt?

You know what they say about men with big feet.

What's in YOUR wallet?

If you suffer from any of these ailments, do not use this product.

Made in China.

My name is Jose Jimenez.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only.

She's no virgin.

You Go Girl.

Shhhh! This is a library!

And you thought hell was hot.

Satan ate my knob.

Hoff boff toff noff.

Could I have the macaroni salad instead?

Guinea pig my ass, that's a rat pig.

This thong is riding up my butt.

I just wet myself.

Is that scratch and sniff?

It's stuck in my zipper!

Why do fools fall in love?

Wheeeeeeeeee!

Get a room!

Why do hurricanes always hit trailer parks?

Oh pointy birds, so pointy pointy, anoint my head anointy nointy.

Tom Cruise come out of the closet.

Candyman, Candyman, Candyman.

Would you like some candy little girl?

Wankle rotary engine.

Brusha, brusha, brusha.

The Arbys hat logo is a phallic symbol.

The silence is deafening.

Are you experienced?

The line ends here.

Judas did what?

I just combed my hair with a fish bone.

All men are created equal.

Oprah who?

Stop right where you are and hand over that sheep!

Tennis anyone?

I am Kaiser Sosei.

Ping!

Seven dwarves took turns doing handstands on the carpet.

If you aren't holding hands people think that you're queer.

I'm going to wash your mouth out with soap.

Care to dance?

He rubs the lotion on his skin. HE RUBS THE LOTION ON HIS SKIN!

Oops. It exploded.

[BlaCkROcKDan]

ok I am truly humbled...friggen genius....You my friend are my new hero...(sorry rising...I'm fickle )

[Foot Fungus]

Yeah!? Well, my father could beat up your father!

Brocolli.

Get in my belly!

That smells like...Jello.

You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.

I must have taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

Boogie!

You have the legs of a dancer.

Brazos!

Cojones!

Introducing The Three Gay Caballeros.

M-I-C-K-E-Y-M-O-U-S-E

Come on down! You're the next contestant on The Price Is Right!

Who made the fruit cake?

Would you accept this rose?

Would you accept this clock?

You know what time it is.

Ladies and gentlemen, Hedwig!

Vanessa Hudgens just sent me a nude photo of herself on my cellphone.

I like girls.

Puppies are cute.

Kitties are cute.

Pretzel nubs are good.

I was a punk before you were.

Don't be scared by these hands.

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me.

Now that's a great set of cans!

Ow!

Hand me a PBR.

Wedgie!

Warm on the outside, cold on the inside. Two minutes.

Step up and see the bearded lady.

Lap dance?

The sky is falling.

Wrap that rascal!

I just scored some dubage.

Do you serve tripe?

Clams.

Mine will be the last voice you will ever hear.

Avon calling.

Come on over on Friday, Blanche is having a Tupperware party.

Who cut the cheese?

Beef!

There's ants in my pants and I need to dance!

Oompah, Loompah, Doompitty-Doo.

Buddy, those are the finest man-boobs that I have ever seen.

Skeezix.

Blumps.

I can't smile without you, I can't laugh, and I can't sing, I'm findin' it hard to do anything...

When are they going to start selling the Girl Scout cookies?

Sell by 7/3/08

...and this one time, when I was at band camp...

A wheel of cheese.

Get your ice cold beer here!

Peanuts! Get your peanuts!

Last Call!

[BlaCkROcKDan]

I just got tested so its cool....

[Foot Fungus]

Your money is no good here.

Just put your lips together and...blow.

You want me to suck on what?

How many protestants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ging-gang-goolie-goolie-goolie-goolie-watcha.

Ging-gang-goo, ging-gang-goo.

Me love you long time.

Yeahhhhh boyeeeeee!

Got milk?

Lather.

I want, I want, I want an enema. Eeeee-nemaaaaaa.

Fondue.

Cheese dip.

French dip.

Sausage sangich.

Fish sangich.

I'm an old codger, I am.

I'm sittin' on the beaches, lookin' at the peaches.

Bali Haiiiiiiiiii

Where's the deodorant?

I see your heiney, so nice and shiny, if you don't hide it, I'm gonna bite it.

Where's Waldo?

Poof!

Who was Ben Wah anyway?

Ancient Chinese secret.

Hulk smash!

Twelve tiny twinkies talked trash on the telephone.

Nurple.

Sit on my lap, I've got a big secret for you.

Tickle me Elmo.

I kissed a girl just to try it.

I kissed a girl and I liked it.

Fo shizzle my nizzle.

A hard man is good to find.

Wonk, wonk, wonk.

Got any hash?

It's stuck in the vacuum.

Bald is beautiful.

Little man in a canoe.

He's a little swishy isn't he?

Turd.

Supercalifragilisticexpialadocious.

Wombat.

Whatever happened to all the heroes?

Yippe Ki-ya! MF!

Hans Gruber?????

He said he was an expert.

Go on, just touch it.

Don't worry, it won't bite you.

It tastes like strawberries.

Sink or swim.

Toast.

Would you like your muffin buttered?

Dark meat or light meat?

Condiment.

Free sample.

This is not a test.

In the event of death, leave the body outside the door. Be sure that it is clearly tagged for easy identification.

Watermelons.

Water balloons.

Water wings.

Water gain.

Wingnuts.

The son always rises.

Don't get your panties in a bunch!

Cool your jets.

This conversation is being recorded for further scrutiny.

What do you mean she was only thirteen?

She had ID.

Free at last! Free at last!

Twizzlers.

That is the ugliest dog I've ever seen.

It looks better when it's clean.

Wax on, wax off.

Bonsai!!

What are you afraid of, it's only metal?

Shiny things are neat.

Find a penny pick it up, all day long you'll have good luck.

Confucious say...

This stinkin' thing is warped!

Mongo only pawn in game of life.

Gentlemen, rest your sphincters.

That's Hedley!

It's good to be the king.

Do the clam.

Rock A Hula Baby!

Your mother!

Yo mama!

Breathe, will ya!

Close your mouth when you chew.

I like traffic lights.

I think we're going to need a doctor.

Balderdash!

Bingo!

I think it's swamp fever.

Did you know that two out of three men will face prostate issues?

There is no known cure.

That looks like it hurts.

...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Snapple.

Gizmo.

It goes to eleven.

It gave me the willies.

Dr. Sanje Gupta.

You got Imussed.

Smile, you're on Candid Camera.

Sorry, wrong number.

Will you people stop pretending that I want your money?

That's it, I quit.

Wiffle ball.

Count to 100 and I'll start looking...

100 bottles of beer on the wall...

99 bottles of beer on the wall...

98 bottles of beer on the wall...

97 bottles of beer on the wall...

Will you just shut up!

Mangoes.

Shoot when you see the whites!

You are my dancing queen...

Sorry man, I'm tapped.

What do you mean I'm fired!!??

I didn't hear the whistle.

All I did was turn it on...

I'll wait for the sequel.

All it takes is a little snip...

Cork.

Don't worry, blame it on him, no one likes him anyway.

R. Kelly is your babysitter??

Where's the white women at?

Baloney.

Why is that hanging there?

Stop it, the children are watching.

Turn out the lights, I'm feeling bloated.

That's the biggest cockroach that I have ever seen.

I just pinched a loaf.

Those aren't raisins!

[Foot Fungus]

Bung!!!

Twiggy.

Hummer.

Twinkle.

It's never been THAT wet!

Twat!

This is the finest gruel I've ever tasted.

She just can't take it, sir!!!

Give 'im some chum!

Excuse me sir, may I have some more?

Now that was a bloodbath!

You'll eat it and you'll like it, young man!

He's got three legs???

99 un luft balloons...

As soon as it stops bleeding, put a band-aid on it.

Fifteen minutes later and it's still there.....

I'm on a quest.

I am your father Luke.

Go on, take off the mask.

You're all stuck on stupid.

So help me me.

All I did was wind it up...

The battery is dead.

Why is my wife buzzing?

Is it six o'clock already?

Mince meat.

Confinement loaf.

Why did you give me that umbrella?

It's not as high as it looks.

It is not a diaper!

I'm trimming my nose hairs.

No running with the scissors!

Now that's an interesting tie.

I just shot off my big toe!

Kawligahhhhhh!

It only hurts when you touch it.

Hurt me baby!

Spit on it, it'll go away!

I'm scared mommy.

Is she pregnant?

What do you mean it's mine?

It's not like I sleep around with just anyone?

I want a paternity test!

Bitch!

Homo!

Slut!

I like rainbows.

Like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives.

Humus.

Kim Jong Il.

Smarmy little monkey.

I wish, I wish, I wish I were a fish.

Dagnabbit four eyes, here comes a torpedey!!

Why did she just give me the finger?

You're ugly, you're ugly, your momma says you're ugly.

How funky is your chicken? How funky is your chicken? How loose is your goose? My goose is totally loose!

My are my clothes all over the lawn?

What was I supposed to do? She was there, I was there, our clothes blew off in a strong wind and we blew into each other repeatedly.

That was the perfect storm.

The boat is upside down, of course we hit something!!!

We're gonna need a bigger boat.

Go ahead, make my day.

Why does sausage shrink when you cook it?

I hope that never happens to me.

I wonder who's going to play me in the movie version?

Drinks are on the house. (I'm OK until they find a ladder-Ba-dum-chink).

This message will self-destruct in 5 seconds.

I always wanted to be a porn star.

Johnny Wadd.

The day porn was shot on video, it was over.

The day porn was shot on cellphones, it was over.

I'm sad.

Hey! That's my wife!

Don't look at that.

Alright, gimme fifteen bucks and watch it all you want.

Thanks.

There's a sucker born every minute.

Charms Blow Pop.

Why did I create worms?

I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

Ug ug ug ug ug ug ug ug.

When in doubt, I whip it out, I got me a rock n' roll band, it's a free for all.

Smurfs are blue.

[Foot Fungus]

sorry.:o

[winfield31]

sorry.:o:eek: too late , another thing you won't here Him say is "welcome , foot fungus , LOL !" You'll here , "please take the elevator & push the DOWN button............!":p

[Foot Fungus]

i'm ascared of elevators. i just won't die. so there.

he's gonna have to put up with me for a while, i'm only seven years old.:p

[winfield31]

i'm ascared of elevators. i just won't die. so there.

he's gonna have to put up with me for a while, i'm only seven years old.:p7 years old , we using dog years time in this MB ?

[Foot Fungus]

stop picking on me. MOMMY! WINFIELD31 IS TOUCHING ME!

[winfield31]

stop picking on me. MOMMY! WINFIELD31 IS TOUCHING ME!go away foot , your mommy & I want to discuss your short future..............

[Foot Fungus]

how do you know how tall i am? are you watching me? stalker!






i'll be naked in the window at midnight tonight. shhhhh. don't tell anyone.

[winfield31]

how do you know how tall i am? are you watching me? stalker!






i'll be naked in the window at midnight tonight. shhhhh. don't tell anyone.shhhh , I'll be in mommies room ;)

[Foot Fungus]

That's the biggest pot pie I've ever seen.

Chickens do have lips.

Sir, I think we have a mole.

Elvis has left the building.

Which way to the lost highway?

Why is there no such thing as outercourse?

I got blisters on my fingers!

Wench, fetch me some more ale!

I'll see your five and raise you twenty.

Pimple.

Zit.

Twang.

Arnold Ziffel.

Don't point that thing at me!

I don't think that's supposed to be held upside down over your head.

In case of fire, break glass.

Do not remove this label under penalty of law.

If it says Libbys, Libbys, Libbys on the label, label, label, you will like it, like it, like it on your table, table table.

Call Hughesco.

Gimp.

Bedtime for Bonzo.

Win one for the Gipper.

This team sucks!

Pass the peas.

Eep Opp Ork means I love you.

George, where did you put the last pickle?

In space, no one can gear you scream.

Don't smoke dope, fry your hair.

Only dopes use dope.

Keep your hands off my muchacha.

The cheese is old and moldy.

I'm a weasel.

George, George, George of the jungle.

Watch out for that tree!

There is no such thing as a jackalope.

I swear I put it over there.

I just used it yesterday.

24 hours ago I was in Nebraska.

Just in: Five people dead in Nebraska thresher massacre.

Why??????

Stella!!!!!

Fly me to the moon.

My heroes have always been cowboys.

America's team.

Jerry Jones sucks eggs.

Jenny Jones sucks eggs.

Jenny Craig doesn't eat eggs.

Jenny Jones kills people.

Yes dad, I'm gay.

You're lookin' mighty nice in them there jeans.

Otto spelled backwards is still Otto.

Freakin' Otto, he doesn't know if he's coming or going.

Otto, there's an alien in the trunk.

This is the INS, put your hands behind your back and kneel on the ground.

No habla English.

I am Chiquita banana and I'm here to say...

Burrito.

I think you put a little too much pepper on it dear.

Ah-Choo!!

Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

Clean up your room!

Go to bed!

You little bastard, give me my underwear.

Boxers or briefs?

I never had sexual relations with that woman.

But I did have sexual relations with those women.

Paula Jones has a huge nose.

Cosmetic surgery didn't help.

But it did make her chest bigger.

Win some lose some.

What kind of a woman uses a maxi-pad anyway?

I can't even draw a stick figure.

Skinny cow.

Drink milk for strong bones and teath.

Use Boniva.

Sponsored by the United Council For Milk.

Approved by the USDA.

I have mad cow disease.

Mooooooooooooooo.

Howdy steaks!

Pig knuckles.

Pig's feet.

Pork tar tar.

Steak tar tar.

My hair is on fire.

Short back and sides please.

You're a sissy.

Mullets look good.

What's with all of those bones in the basement?

Toothpicks.

Mint flavored toothpicks.

Drano.

Liquid bleach.

Where'd all the flies come from?

Pitcher or catcher?

You look nice in pink.

You can do it 'til the cows come home.

When are the chickens finally going to come home to roost?

I can't see anything.

Stop steaming up the windows.

Dammit! Someone keyed my car.

Volvo.

Vulva.

Horatio Hornblower.

Moby Dick.

Can I do it 'til I need glasses?

Fuzzy navel please.

Buttery nipple please.

Sex on the beach please.

Girls Gone Wild Volume 23 was the best of the bunch.

Elliott Spitzer swallows.

That'll be $5000 please.

It wasn't that great.

Supplemental draft.

Losers.

I would like a multi-year deal.

Mushrooms grow in the dark.

Soup is hot.

Cream of mushroom soup is creamy.

The soup just blew up.

Can you get me that sponge.

Why are you licking the walls?

I was in the house when the house burned down.

Put your back into it.

Happiness is pulled pork.

Did I stutter?

Clean that chalkboard.

OK, who put the marijuana seeds in my houseplants?

Doily.

No frills.

I'm sorry sir, we only have seats left in coach.

Take me to Cuba.

I've been waterboarded.

There's water in my ear.

I'm not listening to you.

I'm not touching you.

Leprosy is the gift that keeps on giving.

Did you smell that?

Why is it that every time I turn around you're there?

Seven years bad luck.

Blondes have more fun.

Barbie is hot.

Look at the symbolism of the doll in that cow's rectum.

Freeeeedoooommmmmmm!

Stop throwing rocks.

You'll shoot your eye out kid.

Reach for the sky!

Bang! You're dead!

Muffins.

Raisin Bran.

Cereal killer.

Koo-koo for Cocoa Puffs.

We're out of milk.

There isn't enough tinsel on the tree.

My brain hurts.

[Foot Fungus]

Originally Posted by winfield31

shhhh , I'll be in mommies room

o.k. dad. it's about time you finally came home.

[winfield31]

o.k. dad. it's about time you finally came home. :p :eek: ..............

[Foot Fungus]

Free toy inside.

Try walking a mile in my shoes.

I'd like case number 23 Howie.

Billy just fell out of the window!

Bear claw.

I got the Cat Scratch Fever.

Wang Dang Sweet Poontang.

It's uphill both ways.

A's on your report card equals free bowling.

The dreaded 7-10 split.

Nice hair Donald.

Transvestites wear wigs.

What's with the purse buddy?

Do you have a tissue.

Don't tell anyone, she stuffs.

Water bra.

You just dribbled on your shirt.

Boing!

It's cold in here.

Fire scarecrow?

We're having ribs for dinner.

Who's coming to the family reunion?

4 o'clock time for tea.

Fore!!!

I'll take a mulligan.

Putt Putt is not real golf.

Life is rough.

Lemonade makes my lips pucker.

You can't handle the truth.

This town needs an enema.

Sailing on a sea of cheese.

What would you like on your hot dog?

They plump when you cook 'em.

Take me out to the ball game...

You're out!

You're whipped.

Timmy can't come out to play today.

Does herpes always feel like this.

Why does it hurt when I pee?

Just look inside the hole in the wall, it won't hurt you.

My bucket has a hole in it.

My hole has a bucket in it.

A little dab'll do ya.

There, isn't that better?

I'm just going to sit down for a minute.

Redheads sunburn easily.

Fairies wear boots, you gotta believe me.

He's like the king of the fairies.

Frodo, shave your feet.

Honey, would you wear my ring?

I'm allergic to bee stings.

My eyes are swollen shut.

I wonder what he was thinking when he hit that storm?

Can I play with my erector set?

Lincoln logs.

Lego.

Leggo my Eggo.

Nuts!

One lump or two?

First you coat it in the Crisco and THEN you roll it in the corn flakes.

A pie from Ritz crackers? Who'da thought?

Oysters.

Sam Hoyt.

Oops, I did it again.

I'm nasty.

What do you mean I don't have any panties on?

Panty raid!

I'm a zit, get it?

Toga! Toga! Toga!

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

I like bananas because they have no bones.

You kissed Madonna?

Which way to the Free Clinic?

I wanna be sedated...

Truth or dare?

That skirt is a little short missy!

Hello, this is Mrs. Johnson, the school principal...

Howard Johnson's has 31 flavors.

It's running down my hand!

Do you have a napkin.

That dispenser is empty again???

RAPE!!!

Steinbeck.

The underground railroad really wasn't a train.

Look Fred, she's gotten her boobies.

Do you have any Deep Woods Off?

Maggots!

She's pretty in a slutty way.

I need to measure your inseam.

Watch the hands buddy!

Cough.

Say aaaaaaaaaa.

Gag reflexes.

Read from the third line.

If you don't stop it, you'll go blind.

Hey Moe!

Doink!

Coitanly, with onions.

Cry me a river.

My sister is a nun.

Nice rack!

Are the cookies done yet?

I'll toss the salad.

Rutabega.

Calculus.

I've sown my last seed.

Impotence.

Sadness.

Viagra.

Stiffy.

It won't go away.

Here's a pin, poke a hole in it.

Up, up and away in my beautiful balloon.

It's how long?

Look around the corner, I think he's coming.

Behind the tree.

Over the meadow and through the woods.

Grandma has dentures.

Dentu-grip.

It's stuck.

Franks and beans.

Get off my back you sex machine.

They're five for a dollar.

I only need one.

Sixteen tons and what do you get, another day older and deeper in debt.

She pole dances really well!

Do you have any ones?

That thing just bit me!

Whack-a-doo!!!!!

[Foot Fungus]

Originally Posted by winfield31

..............

that's what my other five daddies said too.


but that was after they had their physicals.

[bigpoppapuff]

"I'll buy it!"

"whatsa matter old gold?"

"I love broken gold"


"I'm thinking a funny movie...how about "schindler's list"..."

[Foot Fungus]

Turn on the bubble machine.

A one and a two and a three...

Everybody polka!

I don't want her, you can have her, she's too fat for me.

Hey!

I like my women like I like my pretzels, soft and warm.

Just add salt.

Ladies and gentlemen, Rupert Pupkin!

Rupert Pupkin!

Rupert Pupkin everybody!

Isn't he great! Rupert Pupkin!

Everybody! One more time, Rupert Pupkin!

You talkin' to me?

Anybody know where I can score some crack?

Step on a crack, break your mother's back.

I know it's cold, but did you really have to put Uncle Charlie in the woodstove?

Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles.

My windshield wipers are broken.

Who'll stop the rain?

What time is the potato sack race?

It's usually bigger than that.

These steroids have me ripped!

Sorry, there's nobody home.

Marshawn, it's the Buffalo Police! Open the door.

It's what I like to call "beast mode".

Bomb Liberia!

I'm a Toys "R' Us kid.

Tony The Tiger sez, "They're Grrrrrrrrrreat!"

Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener...

I just saved a bundle on my car insurance.

The world will end on....

How do you keep an idiot in suspense.

Ribbed or lubricated?

This tastes funny.

Smokin' in the boys' room...

It all tastes like chicken.

Take off your clothes.

Nevermind. Put 'em back on.

Donner party, table of six.

Did you have reservations?

Stop! In the name of love...

Come here and look at this.

That's gotta be at least three feet long.

Take a picture of that.

Can you please flush that thing, I gotta go too.

Do you snore?

Why do they go around in circles when she does that?

Baton twirling is a sport.

The gold tassles are the best.

She uses cotton candy body spray.

That's not fair.

Do they have a bill changer in here?

Did you ever have sex with a clown?

I sunbathe in the nude.

Volleyball anyone?

This week's secret ingredient....scrod!

You can talk to the animals, but don't eat the scrod.

Please don't feed the deer.

What's wrong with you, can't you read?

Pearls before swine.

She said she wanted a pearl necklace!!!

What kind of shampoo do you use?

I have really bad aim.

Duck!

Has anyone seen Dick Cheney?

Eat, Santa, eat.

I want to be a dentist.

Herpes, the love bug.

Bumbles bounce.

Nuthin'.

Sweet Jesus!

It's Easter already?

I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!

I am Iron Man!

I'm strong to the finish, 'cause I eats me spinach, I'm Popeye The Sailor Man!!

What's in the bong?

That hooker just rolled me!!

Running on empty...

I just signed a deal for my own reality TV show!

It's hog killin' time!

Bacon bits.

Once you go black, you never go back.

Take off the blindfold baby.

Surprise!

It's just me and a fifteen of my closest friends.

You act as if you actually did something.

Chocolate mousse.

I haven't had a vacation in a billion years.

Chocolate moose.

Marilyn Manson is hot!

Stop me if you've heard this one.

Does anyone have any aspirin?

Not tonight I have a headache.

How about your sister?

How about your mother?

How about your dog?

Gerbil?

I live in a very large Habitrail.

Running on the wheel keeps me in shape.

My rectal exam appointment is at 3 o'clock.

Do you have a Sony camera?

It goes around corners.

It shoots through schools.

There's no one in here but us sheep.

Drink Woolite.

Jeep.

Family truckster.

Let's dig up grandma's bones.

Sperm.

[Foot Fungus]

I want to be an allergist and be somebody.

Where do you want me to lick you first?

Taylor Negron was the best bachelor on The Dating Game. Ever!

Eenie meenie miney moe.

The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout, down came the rain and washed the spider out, out came the sun and it dried up all the rain, and the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again.

Come on down, you're the next contestant on The Price Is Right.

Hail to the chief, I'm the chief and I need hailing.

Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.

How long has that thing been bleeding?

I had an abortion.

That girl has a moustache.

I like big butts!

They said it would work better with butter.

I'm locked in the porta potty!

Ken dolls are gay.

Ken dolls have no genitalia.

Barbie is a lesbian.

Rub it til' it glows.

We'll never run out of rubber bands again.

The gentleman caller is waiting for you in the parlor.

Can you dig it!

Warriors, come out and play-ayyyyyy!

I'm really good at shooting pool.

What's that floating in the pool?

You're not going to throw up in the car are you?

I like lizards.

Give me a nickels worth of the high test.

Puff the magic dragon....

I really like you, but you're sister is smokin'!

Grandma take your teeth out.

Peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth.

Go get a glass of water!

There's some lovely filth down here.

My cabbage patch doll is pregnant.

I have foam in my mouth.

Mad dog!!!

I just got my sex change at Lorena Bobbitt's!

It's cheaper by the pound.

Blubber.

Bubble Flavor.

Bubba Flavel.

Get the flock out of here!

The cop just goosed me with his nightstick!

My flashlight is dead.

Arby's now has a commercial where the penis hat logo is completely red. I was right.

A baby's arm holding an apple.

Two cars in every garage.

A chicken in every pot.

A lifetime of servitude.

Re-elect Dale Volker.

Don't point that thing at me!

How's your meatloaf?

My fist, your face.

That is one horny monkey!

Ikey, Mikey, Jakey, Sam, we're the boys that eat no ham.

Muskrat Susie, Muskrat Sam, do the jitterbug out in muskrat land, and they shimmy,
and Sammy's so skinny.

Try some. You'll thank me for it.

Has anybody seen my eel?

Mercury tastes good.

Excuse me sir, my hands are broken. Can you help me out with my zipper?

One tap for yes, two taps for no.

You have the legs of a dancer.

More mutton!

You're a dink!

Stop spraying the whipped cream into your mouth!

Does powdered milk come from dusty cows?

Tofu.

You are sentenced to hang by the neck until you are dead.

They blew up the baby milk factories.

Have you read any good books lately?

April's centerfold is always the best of the year.

Ow! I just cut my tongue on a staple!

He can't be a man if he doesn't smoke the same cigarettes as me.

Flatulence.

Men at work.

Keep back 300 feet.

Watch for falling rocks.

Blind person area.

This is bad.

Booooooom!

Roll it in flour and look for the wet spot.

Who the hell is the smart guy that invented handball?

Coach Carter, will you please keep your balls off my tumbling mats!

Maybe they should call Dick Tracy.

I've been framed!

I'm Chris Hanson from Dateline NBC...

Tiny bubbles....

Thank heaven, for little girls, for little girls get bigger everyday.

Way to go son!

Somehow this just doesn't seem fair.

Step right up and see the giant rat!

What kind of soup is that?

It's stuffed with sawdust.

Product of Mexico.

Eat the worm, man.

Me and my friend Pee Wee are going to the movies.

There's moles in the lawn.

Five. Five dollar footlongs....